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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/10/08)

TITLE: The Grand Plan
By Ruth Neilson
01/12/08


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Lucifer moaned as he leaned forward in his ornately designed stone throne. How could this have happened to him? The Enemy wasn’t supposed to use one of his own plays against him. He was supposed to win...not the Enemy’s Chosen One.

With a throbbing head, probably from where the Offspring of the woman had bruised it, Lucifer grasped the narrow neck of a dark bottle and took a long swig. The liquid burned on its path down to his stomach.

Eve had been easy enough to ensnare in the trap. Drop a tantalizing distraction in front of her, and lead her away from the Enemy’s chosen path. If only he had ignored the rustling in the grove, and not planted the idea of sharing the fruit with the Adam in Eve’s mind, this would not have happened. Everything had been perfect.

Lucifer spat angrily and sneered as steam rose from the damp spot on the stone ground. The perfect creation that the Enemy created was now ruined. It was a beautiful dark splotch of mud on the fabric of time. It was the same thread that every part of the Enemy’s creation was forced to suffer from; now counterbalanced because of the Enemy’s blood offering.

He took another swig before dropping the bottle to the ground with a clatter. Shards of glass scattered across the floor and Lucifer angrily hit his head against the back of his throne. This defeat was more humiliating than the battle over Job. The little minions who were in charge of destroying him had insisted that they almost had Job broken down...it would just take a few more days. Then, not only would they had been victorious over Job and his family, but his friends as well. Another perfect plan ruined…

Swearing, Lucifer stood and kicked the bottle across his quarters.

What was wrong with his minions? Why was it so easy for them to fail? It was as if every time a plan was going perfectly, the Enemy’s followers in a strangle hold, some how the prey would slip away.

Lucifer tapped his chin. What was the common thread in these escapes? He paused and cursed loudly. Other than, the fact that they were the Enemy’s chosen; the plans had always expanded right at the critical moment. The logic made perfect sense; why settle with the small fish when there could be a big old fish fry!

Lucifer continued to pace, pondering what could be done. He knew that now the Chosen One’s followers were untouchable, unless the Enemy allowed him too. Lucifer smirked as he held up a finger. There still could be a victory, despite having lost the keys.

With a bellow, he summoned his underlings. “See, here is what we do: We bind the families tight in things that they cannot shake. Bind them in the chains of drug, physical, and mental abuse. Cripple them with the ideas that they cannot serve the Enemy ‘cause they are not good enough. If we can keep them preoccupied with doubt and guilt, they cannot escape our traps.”

Lucifer’s cronies nodded amongst themselves. Quiet murmuring filled the cavern.

“Yes, yes, if we can remain content with what we have, we might just be able to win yet.”


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This article has been read 570 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dianne Janak01/18/08
Powerful writing... loved the twisted POV, and the truth of his evil plan... this would be entertaining, if it was not so tragically true. Loved it..
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/18/08
Excellent descriptive writing in this creative, but too true story.
Joanne Sher 01/19/08
Excellent description and characterization. I felt like I was right there.
LauraLee Shaw01/22/08
Chills. YOur descriptions throughout this are AMAzing! I could picture every detail. I love this line: the logic made perfect sense; why settle with the small fish when there could be a big old fish fry! The twist on contentment is creative and haunting at the same time.
Holly Westefeld01/22/08
An interesting take on the topic.
Sally Hanan01/22/08
Very creative and unique. I liked how you made Satan look like an alcoholic--addicted to thing that cannot satisfy. It would help you if you had a challenge editor--you have a few minor slips that could be fixed that way before submission.
Jan Ackerson 01/22/08
Creative, dark, and very well done!
Rita Garcia01/23/08
POWERFUL! Great writing!
Sheri Gordon01/23/08
Ooh, very chilling. It was especially eery knowing The Enemy in the story was God -- when that phrase is usually used for satan.

Very creative take on the proverb -- showing how satan isn't satisfied with what he has. Good job with the topic.
Beth LaBuff 01/23/08
You've written a very creative story from a great angle. This line tends to hit home, "Cripple them with the ideas that they cannot serve the Enemy ‘cause they are not good enough. If we can keep them preoccupied with doubt and guilt, they cannot escape our traps.” Thanks for this reminder. Great writing!
Karen Wilber 01/23/08
Man, this one really creeped me out - and I mean that as a compliment to your writing. Satan's always on the prowl...glad we serve an awesome God.