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With Alzheimer’s every day is a surprise.
It only started a short while ago,
I think.
It’s something you don’t
at first notice
Little things
names become hard
even those you love
and spelling
and then words themselves
Little things.
And then there’s the
pot on the stove
with the flame underneath
forgotten
And the checks for the bills
thought they’d been sent
but,
forgotten.
No more cooking
even hot chocolate
and no more paying
the bills
nor driving
or going for a walk
alone.
Then the choking fear
sustaining and then
dying too
forgotten.
After fear
singing starts
easier to pull out
words
and love
and happiness
from the music
inside.
Colors
blobs of colors
bright
bold
sharp
and indistinct
unrecognizable
with unrecognizable
sounds coming
followed by
lips and kisses
on the face
love
remembered
till gone.
Finally
eventually
the body sound
squish-dump
squish-dump
squish-dump
slowly-slowly
coming to
a
stop
forgetting
anymore
to work
In that moment
I see the light
and remember the words
heart, blood, and love
as my husband’s arms
wrap around me
his tears touch
my face
as my breath stops
I walk into the light
that’s a brightness
that’s not light
but
love
so strong
so powerful
so bright.
God the Father’s love.
God the Son’s love
and the love of the
Holy Spirit.
And, surprised, I remember
all, everything,
backwards
from the last moment
to the first
and I understand the plan
the glory, the universe,
the reason for all
as the light of love
wraps around me
and I step forward
safe at home
again
at last.
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