The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1303 times
Member Comments
This is a wonderful story of a life changed by Jesus and the boldness that brings. You did an excellent job with contrast here.
This is a wonderful story of a life changed by Jesus and the boldness that brings. You did an excellent job with contrast here.
Excellent job showing the amazing transformation that this woman underwent - and I love the last paragraph. Why is it we can get up the courage to ask for money, that is here today and gone tomorrow, and not to tell someone about Jesus, which lasts for eternity? Got me thinking!
Wow...Little rich girl chooses Jesus' path of sacrifice; it's a story you don't hear often. I hung on every word, and fell in love with little Nataki! Another nice touch is the suspenseful cover-up re her dad's ID--wonderful job!
Your story illustrates eternal value so beautifully; and it definitely fits the topic well.
I love your MC. Her change in thinking, her acceptance of Christ, everything in this story is so good! The descriptions are great. I enjoyed reading every sentence!
I run a youth center for at-risk kids (for 10+ years) and I loved how the transformation came through a child ... a small, sweet, loving child. That connection is powerful. Thanks.
I love it when the snobby rich kid learns something worthwhile. This one learned a more valuable lesson than most. Great writing, and I like the little surprise at the end. I didn't know the rich exec was going to be her dad.
I really enjoyed this. I love to read positive stories about the work and witness of Christ.
This made me smile. I like that the executtive was her father. Nataki was also a great touch! Thanks
I loved the last half of this, and that the benefactor was her father.

The first half was a bit too much of a narrative for my taste--could have used a touch more "showing". I didn't really feel her previous attitude, so the change didn't grab my heart like it should have.

Love your description of Nataki--you could make a whole story with just Nataki and your narrator. I hope you will!
I am fighting back the tears. This is such a heart touching story of boldness. You are a very good writer, you know just when to interject things into your stories. Great writing! Surely you are blessed by God and I am sure He smiled as He say the lesson learned.
God does work in mysterious ways, doesn't He? Your MC at first may have only seen her BMR, but God saw her heart. Our paths are not always the direction He would have us make, so a few detours along the way helps to get us straightned back out. And, once there just look at all the others you are now able to help along their way. Great story.
Way to show how God changes lives and how He gives boldness. Great job! :-) hugs!!
This REEKS with boldness! I love how she chose a different lifestyle in the face of her family and carried with with her request.

Right on all the way through. Good stuff here!
WOW! I really, really loved this story. Such a great message. The ending was so special, it gave me goose bumps. Great writing!
Loved this story are a wonderful MASTER WRITER, swimming quite well with the sharks with no teeth! Hang in there... you are doing great! LOVE.. Dianne
The line about gangster thugs ruining her car but the little girl stealing her heart was especially effective.

Your descriptions are great - I was right there in the story thanks to your masterful story telling.