The Official Writing Challenge
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Great satire! I loved the dialogue ... each character was visual to me just because of the dialogue. And aren't we all a bit timid when selling widgets??!!
This clever story demonstrates so well how to be a "bold" salesperson. It brought back a memory of my college days when I was working one of the front registers at Woolworths and was supposed to sell the pecan bars on the counter. My boss came to me one day and said, "Miss Cole, if I hear you say to one more person, 'You wouldn't want to buy one of these pecan bars, would you?' you're fired." Thanks for providing an interesting story and for stirring my memories.
Great story! I wish there had been more words available, as the resolution seemed to come to easily, but otherwise this was great, and I agree that the dialog was good.
09/07/07
Maybe I read more into this, but the following lines made me immediately think about the way I approach sharing my faith:

“Don’t believe in ‘em!” ...

He turned in despair to Mr. Dove, who was standing behind his right shoulder. “I shouldn’t try to compromise his beliefs—right?”

I don't share my faith boldly -- I let others dictate the flow of the conversation. And I'm easily turned away.

And your ending is wonderful.

I think your allegory is incredible. Great job with the topic.
09/07/07
Yes, a great satire on our resposiblites when it comes to sharing our faith. (especially about being ready to give answer ...)

So many points! So well done. I was drawn in from begining to end of these simple lessons.

You tell a great story!
I don't know what you call articles like this, but it is a great example of how we witness. I suppose that was the point. Good writing.
09/08/07
Awesome allegory, thought-provoking cautionary tale, and humor! Who could ask for more than that? I absolutely LOVED this.
Great descriptions, dialogue, and flow. . .Your delightful satire is an arrow shot to the core!
09/09/07
Wonderful analogy! Great dialog and interesting characters. Perfect for the Challenge topic.
09/11/07
This is a too-true portrayal of how we often approach witnessing. I enjoyed your approach and your writing.
I confess, I had to read the comments to realize this was an allegory. But I'm a bit hyper-literal, so don't worry too much!

You have a real gift for setting the tone of a piece, especially through dialogue. "Don't believe in 'em!" - that was perfect. :) I also liked how he was selling widgets, which could have been anything, and I see now is the tip-off to the allegory.

Superb job as always!
I'm smiling, but yet see the serious side of this, because it reminds me I need to examine my own witness.
Love the analogy drawn here, and love your milquetoast MC. Sometihng tells me he's going to be a top notch salesman.
Oh, this is great! I think you were right on target with the balance in this delightful satire! Not too obscure. Not to obvious. Just right! Mr. "Dove"...haha...gotta love it!! ;-)
Worst you have entered? Do me a favor, reach around your neck and pat yourself on the back. This was such a display of the underdog in all of us and how God is always there encouraging us to go on just one more time. The was a very feel good story! Great writing silly girl! You sold me a widget for sure!
Good for Alfie's boss and his not giving up on him. See how perseverence blessed the end user! Yes, a lesson to all of us Alfies out there, that in life sometimes we just need to keep on keeping on.
09/12/07
What a great demonstration of the difference boldness makes, and also how knowing a 'secret' (or two) can build one's boldness! Great dialog and descriptions of the two men. :-) hugs!
Great! Your writing and dialogue is top notch as always.

I wanted to hear what Alfie's boss had to say. I was so sad to miss out on that.

I enjoyed this!
I know alfie..I AM Alfie. hehe...I was rejoicing for him when he sold a widget. Thanks for a great story.
Hey! Congrats! See!.. whether people understood the satire or not, it was still great reading and writing! Love Ya' Leigh
A great illustration that writing doesn't have to be heavy or morose to have depth of meaning. Because your dialogue is so brisk and colorful it acts like a memory peg to ensure this story stick with me a long while.
Beautiful allegory, "I art the man." I am Alfie. Half way through the reading I knew you were talking about my years of non-wittnessing excuses. Prayerfully the Lord is working in that area now in my life. Thank you for the reminder...congratulation
on your ribbon...Dave
I'm just sorry it took me so long to find and read this. It is so true to the faith sharing part of the Christian life. Don't we all need a Mr Dove to encourage us to keep on sharing? This needs to be submitted to a youth or young adult magazine with discussion questions and such.