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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Fearful (08/23/07)

TITLE: The Fearful Yellow Sky
By Thomas Kappel
08/28/07


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Dark clouds
boiling, churning, rolling,
stretching high to reach
up to the edge of space
sucking in and filling
with raw energy from the
heaven and earth
to strike out in every direction
and within
with the slapping hair raising
snap of stored power and the
release of unnatural brightness
and overwhelming sound.

Advancing, it sucks in
and consumes the
natural light and energy
announcing itís pending
arrival with the
fearful yellow sky.

And then
like some silent stalking creature
darkness slowly consumes
that pale yellow sky
leaving the world
cloaked in
unholy darkness

The moaning begins
quietly, slowly,
at first
than
trees bend and
sand and dirt
streak through the air
as the quiet gentle
warming breeze
becomes a violent wind
and the ground begins to shake
as the crashing voice of thunder
adds its massive
sound to the cry
and pain of the
storm.

And the earth
and the sky
scream out
in unison
with flashes of
blinding white
dreadful light
as

Heís gently lifted
off the cross
and the veil of the
temple
is rent asunder


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This article has been read 788 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sherry Wendling08/31/07
"...the slapping hair raising
snap of stored power..." Wow, your free verse utterly gripped me, brimming with internal rhyme and brilliant imagery! A tiny part of me was searching for a bit more reference to the emotion of fearfulness in the observers...But that didn't diminish the beautiful dynamics of your poem. I especially enjoyed your contrast at the end, where He is "gently" lifted off the cross and the veil of the temple rends violiently in two!
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/31/07
Your free verse is wonderful with its awesome imagery, vivid verbs, and beautiful message.
Myrna Noyes08/31/07
Powerful, highly descriptive piece with an excellent ending! (I noticed two minor mechanical errors: "it's" for "its" and and "than" for "then.") You really helped me see anew those awful final moments before Christ died. Great writing! :)
Dianne Janak08/31/07
Powerful writing... the imagery is alive, and the takeaway is glorious.
Joanne Sher 09/01/07
Wonderfully vivid, excellent description. Love your word choices.
Dee Yoder 09/02/07
Oooh, I love this poem. It's so descriptive and moody. The colors you chose to create atmosphere are perfect. Excellent writing.
Allison Egley 09/03/07
Very powerful. I'm sure they were very scared when the sky darkened at the noon hour! The pictures you painted with your words were so vivid. Great job.