The Official Writing Challenge
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08/31/07
Good story, but I know you are going to kick yourself twice you wrote "profits" when you meant "prophets." One of those nasty things that spell check doesn't catch.
08/31/07
Great telling of this story - and PERFECT title.
09/01/07
The frustration of the prophet comes through in your story. It's interesting to read this in a modern voice. I like that you pointed out the irony of the king who, because he couldn't see the vision of God's prophet, had his physical vision taken from him in the act of aggression that Jeremiah was trying to warn him about.
Despite the false "profits," you expressed so clearly the frustration and sadness and disappointment of Jeremiah that the people would not listen.
09/03/07
Powerful last sentence! This was a refreshing read, and would be great as a dramatic monologue.
I truly enjoyed this! Don't be too hard on yourself. :)

What I probably liked most was that it was in first-person and took us better inside the mind of Jeremiah, even made his written words at the end fit right in with all that you wrote.

Also, the tone was perfect - I really did feel the fear, the anguish, the loss. Great job!
09/03/07
This is a great story from Jeremiah's prespective. His broken heart is echoed well in this work.

You did an excellent job.
09/05/07
Excellent story. You conveyed the mental anguish of Jeremiah well. Good job.
I love the way you descibed Jeremiah's feeling throughout this piece.