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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Sad (07/26/07)

TITLE: Alone
By Purity Snowe
07/29/07


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Fetid blankets pulled about my chin,
My head,
Like a shroud, corrupting my vision.
I canít see beyond defiled bedposts.
The world cutoff by shadows of my own design
And I linger in darkness
Alone.

Her voice, a haunting echo in my brain,
My memories,
Like a solitary kitten crying in desperation.
I searched but couldnít find her.
Taken from me by a world stained with evil
And I weep in grief
Alone.

Shana, your last message on my machine,
My wounded heart,
Begging me to come for you before you were discovered.
But I failed you. Failed us both.
Smudged spatters of crimson on the alley wall.
And I ache in ignominy
Alone.

The bottle, half empty on my bed stand,
My derisory comforter,
Like a cynical defiler woos me.
I know there is a better way.
A direction that will lift me to inexpressible joy
But I stumble in sadness
Alone


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This article has been read 689 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Loren T. Lowery08/02/07
The sadness here, as I see it, is that the narrator does not realize that they are not alone - ever. Even by sharing this poem they will find kindred souls.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/02/07
This is a gripping poem that pulls the reader into the sadness experienced by an allcoholic.
Joanne Sher 08/02/07
This sent chills up my spine. The hopelessness and blame here is completely tangible.
Linda Watson Owen08/03/07
The heaviness and darkness here is palpable indeed. You've done an excellent job of communicating the hopeless grief of this speaker.
Dee Yoder 08/03/07
Grief has to be the most hopeless of feelings when the knowledge of a Creator is absent. The despair of the non-believer is well described here.
Phyllis Inniss 08/06/07
How well you have portrayed the grief and 'aloneness' in your poem.
Jan Ackerson 08/06/07
You most certainly DO beling in Masters, dear girl!
Sherrie Jackson08/06/07
Fetid, defiled, corrupting, stained, crimson - this is some pretty heavy imagery! Your poem has layers that demand multiple readings, which is always an excellent feat. Excellent job.
Betty Castleberry08/07/07
Oh my, such vivid description. I think you have captured the feeling of being alone quite well. This is powerful writing.
Caitlynn Lowe08/08/07
The feeling of despair is certainly evident in this piece. Good job.
Pat Guy 08/09/07
I love reading your work.

Excellent! Truly wow.