The Official Writing Challenge
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I love stories about the end times. Scary, but makes one wonder how we will hold up under the pressure. I pray as well as Lissette and her family. You nailed the topic in a creative manner with usual well written cahracterization and subtlety. one of my favorite as I read through some entries this morning!
07/19/07
Ooh, this story is good! Makes me think about the choices our country is making now-how are we "helping" to usher in the kind of world described in your story? Good thing we know Who holds the future!
07/20/07
Excellent detail - you certainly have a way with setting the scene and showing. Much to think about here.
This thought-provoking end-times story is excellently written, the message shown clearly.
07/22/07
Chilling, provocative, moving... I want 75,000 words!
Captivating. I love the POV. Your experiment worked. I want more, more, more!
07/23/07
I love the way the MC views her friends happiness more than shares in it. The scar will serve as an even bigger reminder in days to come. I agree, I would love to read the expanded version.
Wow, this one is really, really good... Powerful message!
Wow! This was so interesting. The fact that you wrote this from the perspective of a person who was sympathetic toward the main character gave your story an interesting twist. I also liked how you repeated, "How can she be so happy," and then ended with a question along the lines of "Will she still be so happy?"
07/23/07
I absolutely love this. Creative foction, yet chillingly realistic. The POV was perfect, the storytelling nothing short of masterful. :-)
07/24/07
You hit the Scriptural / philosophical Happy Theme right on the head with this piece, showing happiness to be available from within instead of environmentally controlled. The view of the protagonist being so removed created a tone that worked great with the plot.
07/24/07
Excellent writing! I love this masterful story of true happiness. Well Done!!
07/25/07
I would've liked to read more on this. The setting, everything was just great. I liked how you used the memory of the scar throughout the story. My fave part was the last line. I think Lisette would still be happy. She has a true happiness that maybe one day her friend will see. ^_^ Great job!
You painted a beautiful portrait in words and told a masterful story. The voice, the pace, the meterm the tone all so well done. And odd as it might seem, I can see myself at times on either side of the two stories.
This has a realistic feeling. Sad but possibly true someday. But I like the happiness portrayed here.
A perfect 10!! OH MY...... I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. You sure outdid yourself on this story! Sequel, please!

PS I couldn't stop laughing when I read the line about holding the doll hostage.
07/26/07
Wow. This made my skin crawl because it feels like this government is just around the corner. I love the way you tell a story.

More importantly, it made me look at myself. Why do I let life's little annoyances keep me from being happy?

You are masterful at bringing the subtle message out loud and clear. Great job.