Fetid haze rolled through the alley
As the midnight pitch was sinking.
I saw nothing but a memory,
Lovers dancing and embracing
Under stars strewn bright like candles.
Reaching out, the image faded.
Ending cruelly with his leaving.
For a moment I’d been special,
Almost treated like a princess.
Issued license to be happy.
Lost in transitory passion,
Until fate returned my sorrows
Reeling me back where I’d started.
Etching misery and torment.
Fingers wet now, bathed in crimson.
Ashen blade dropped near the dumpster.
Incised wrists, life-spilling, mortal.
Losing strength I slipped and faltered.
Urine stained, the walls spun round me.
Retching, falling in the gutter.
Eager death consumed my failure.
From the edges of forever
All the hosts of hell were laughing.
I could hear them, taste them, see them
Looking, waiting, watching, scheming.
Up a tunnel seared in blackness
Red eyes gleamed and stared unblinking.
Earthly fall, unending torture.
Faint, a distant recollection,
Amber, flickering, and faded.
In a church a child was praying.
Loving hands around her trembled.
Upturned eyes, a cross stood glowing.
Rosy cheeks were streaked and wanting.
Eloquent, a budding heart-song.
Full of rage the demons countered.
Angry curses screamed deriding,
“Insincere! You’re lost! You’re faithless!
Languish now, your fate enduring!”
Unheard words, my silent weeping.
Ragged breath of last repentance.
Envious for life, a blessing.
Fierce a voice from heaven thundered
As the filth about me scattered.
I could see the demons fleeing.
Light burned hot about the rubbish.
Unrestrained, my heart grew stronger.
Righteous love and jealous seeking.
Endless hope, unearned forgiveness.
Saved by grace, a new belonging.
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