The Official Writing Challenge
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04/26/07
For some reason this makes me cry, and I'm not an emotional person :) Beautifully written - you captured each second of their reunion so incredibly well - fantastic writing!
04/27/07
Yes, this creates powerful images and emotions and leaves me wanting to know more details. Well done.
Wow, I love how this was written with such restraint - there could have been a ton of emotions involved but you choose to stay at a distance, and I think that really helped to bring the reader into the culture. (For that reason, I don't think you needed the phrase "as the cultural norm"; you had already sucked us completely in)

I also like how this is a different perspective on what happens when a long-gone love returns home. That surprise alone makes this story great. Excellent job!
04/30/07
This is why you are in Master's!!!! Fantastic story, told with such grace and perception!
04/30/07
This was so beautiful, so personal and intimate, that I almost felt shy reading it, as if I were eavesdropping on her heart. Perfect.
04/30/07
So vivid and "heart-tearing" - I can't even imagine being in a situation like this. Great description.
04/30/07
I like romances set in other cultures ~_^

The only thing I would have left out was the short little sentence saying "culture dictated." Also some of your sentences seemed a bit abrupt and could have been combined. But it's nothing major; the story was great and the emotions were depicted very well!
04/30/07
This was almost perfect. If it was stronger on topic (for me)it would have been. I think you have captured effortlessly the tragedy of many military families.

Beautiful.
This brought tears to my eyes. I found myself experiencing every one of her emotions as I read it.
I'm not familiar with where this might have happened, but I assume that it was during some wartime. The story is good, I just would have liked a little more early setting. But others may be more familiar with the names that are foreign to me. The story plot is very good.
05/02/07
I really like the names here. They fit the piece so well and especially the way in which me see the story unfolding...it's nice. At the end, I wasn't quite sure if the husband hadn't returned because of the broken tracks or he was in service. Mayhap I am just dense though, very well done.
05/02/07
I knew the names were from culture, but I wasn't sure the setting still wasn't a more familiar culture to me, until late in the story. For that reason, it made it hard for me to believe that she had no idea that this was her husband, that he wouldn't have at least gotten word to her of his return. But as the story unfolded, it became clear. And I'm sure with more than 750 words, you could have elaborated more. You captured the emotions of this young wife beautifully. Well done. Cheri
05/02/07
Speaking of limited word usage... My first comment should read: I knew the names were from ANOTHER culture... Sorry.
05/11/07
Absolutely beautiful! Just a brief moment in this romance, but what a lot of history and anticipation for the future you were able to convey. I am quite impressed and excited for your writing future!

I also want to tell you how much I appreciate your commenting on my "Sparrow" story, Sparrow! Thank you!