Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Reading (01/25/07)

TITLE: The Last Train
By April Bailey
01/30/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Molly peeked into her father’s study, hoping to see his face light up the way it always did in her presence.

“Daddy?” She half expected him to answer, but in silence she entered, sweeping her gaze across shelves of books, the big oak desk, and model airplanes. All his beloved things.

She sighed and walked the familiar arc around the desk to his chair, the leather broken in perfectly like a great pair of jeans. Coaxed by its allure, Molly sat in Daddy’s place, petting the velvety armrests and drinking in his scent. She leaned back, a poke behind her sending one hand deep into the seam of the chair, where she retrieved a small white card. “What in the world?”

Molly turned the card upright and focused, her eyes quickly clouding behind laughter that brought tears. “Oh, Daddy.” She touched the card to her chest, remembering their last game.

“You can have Boardwalk and Park Place, Moll. I’ll take Short Line,” her dad grinned as she handed him the card. “That just leaves one more railroad. Come on, Reading!”

Never a Monopoly mogul, he typically floundered during their weekly game, leisurely collecting the railroads and utilities, while Molly snapped up the big-money properties before booby trapping them with hotels and houses.

“You’re going to owe me, big time, Daddy!” she laughed, appreciating the layout of the board. Marvin Gardens, Pennsylvania and Illinois Avenues—she had all the great real estate trios in addition to the Boardwalk bombshell.

“You never know, Moll. I might take another vacation at our local penitentiary,” he smiled. “Then who would you charge?”

“You’re just delaying the inevitable, Daddy. That little money you’ve got there …” she pointed to his meager pile, “it’ll be mine very soon.”

“Not if I get my last train!”

And so the dance played out—a dad’s valiant quest for lesser properties culminating in a predictable trouncing by his daughter. Now, settled in her father’s chair, Molly cherished the small reminder of their weekly face-offs, knowing he valued their time together more than victory. She, however, didn’t mind at all that he let her win. That, their tender exchange, became more the game than Monopoly.

“Molly?” her mother popped her head around the study door. “It’s time to go.”

She nodded, concealing the card in her palm.

Molly fell silent during the short ride, stealing glances at the secret treasure in her hands. When they arrived, she entered a stone building with her mom and sister, and walked directly to the front, to her father.

Molly leaned forward, whispering words of love into the casket, and opened her hand to reveal Reading Railroad, the card from his study. Before saying a final goodbye, she kissed the card and tucked it carefully under his tie. “Here you go, Daddy. Now you’ve got your last train.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1006 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Mo 02/01/07
This one made me teary.
Allison Egley 02/02/07
Oh, this was a very unique take on the topic. At first, the word "culminating" in the 5th to last paragraph threw me for a loop... I was wanting to read it as "culminated" since it happened in the past, and it took me a couple of reads to realize it fit just fine the way you wrote it. You did a great job capturing the emotion and drawing the reader in.
Joanne Sher 02/03/07
Love the dialogue AND the description here. Great title for this lovely piece. You did a wonderful job of capturing the mood in this story.
Marilyn Schnepp 02/05/07
Such a sweet story. Loved it; however, I've always thought (I'm probably wrong) that Reading Railroad is pronounced "redding" - rhyming with heading; thus, I didn't find the bona fide topic of "reading" here; but we're allowed to be "picky" up here in Mastersville. Right? Great Write, however! Kudos.
Phyllis Inniss 02/05/07
You touched the reader with this story and kept the interest throughout. Very good article.
Jacquelyn Horne02/05/07
Very moving! Quite a story.
Venice Kichura02/06/07
I agree---great use of dialogue & plot.
Sally Hanan02/07/07
Sweet story, and you have good descriptions of the setting.
Jan Ross02/08/07
Wonderful story! It was one that made me cry as I judged this week, and I don't cry often! :) Your characterizations were wonderful--it was if I was there, observing every detail so carefully crafted. Congratulations on your EC placement! Well-deserved! :)