The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/30/06
What a heartwarming story! I loved all the detail you gave - it made this story so real feeling! The end of it seemed a bit weak in my opinion, but I loved everything else about it!
Good story but I was initially confused. You wrote both in the first and third person narrative, sometimes substituting Jessica for I. Or is it me?
12/04/06
The only place I noticed "I" substituted for "Jessica" was in the last paragraph. And there were a couple misspellings. Other than that, a beautiful story and an excellent example of "volunteering." Good work. Blessings, Cheri