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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Missionary (10/19/06)

TITLE: Unmuzzled
By Kenn Allan
10/25/06


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I met the Lord the other night
While warming up a pew,
Then came away with soul redeemed
And altered point-of-view.

The selfish life which I once gripped
In pride and self-esteem,
No longer glittered in my hand,
Or lured with lavish gleam.

But how could I reshape my life
Or hope to make amends
For all my years of posh repose
Amid my snobbish friends?

Then like a bolt out of the blue
The answer came to me—
I’d go into the mission field
And give up luxury.

Excitedly, I grabbed the phone
With unrestrained elation,
And called a meeting at the church
To share my revelation.

Once all the elders had arrived
And introductions made,
I took a breath and cleared my throat,
And shared the plans I’d laid ...

“I stand before you, gentlemen,
To offer sacrifice,
My life thus far has been too lax,
But now I’ll pay the price.

“What I propose for you to do
Is send me far away
To small resorts in tropic ports
Where lost souls go to play.

“I’m sure Aruba needs our help,
And Guadeloupe too,
The Virgin Isles remain untouched,
Antiqua’s overdue.

“I’ll give St. Barts a shot of faith—
At least that’s what I’m planning,
And save Bermuda in my shorts
(Or maybe less, if tanning).

“Oh, I can hardly wait to hear
The sermons I shall preach
While seeking sinners in the surf
On some secluded beach.

"And if the tides will not allow
Baptisms in the sea,
I'll gladly use the heated pool
To set the captives free.

“I’ll bless rude waiters with a smile,
And compliment each dish,
And when I sign the restaurant checks,
I’ll draw a Christian fish.

“So please, dear brothers, hear my plea
And lend me your support
By sending me to serve the Lord
In every last resort.”

The elders stared without a word,
Like time itself had stopped;
But I could tell they were impressed
By how their jaws had dropped.

They must have sensed uncommon worth
From all the things I’d said—
Instead of sending me away
They prayed for me instead!

But sometimes while in Bible class
I feel my focus lapse,
And dream of palms and sandy shores ...
Oh, well ... someday perhaps.


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This article has been read 1249 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 10/26/06
We always joke about how nice it would be if God were to call us to do "beach evangelism" - it's a dirty job, but someone has to do it! (And blessings on those who actually do it.) I love the "tongue-in-cheek" here. Good job.
Louise Fountain10/26/06
Your article brought laughter to my soul. I was on a vaction-oops! I mean a mission with you! Great poem.
Amy Michelle Wiley 10/27/06
I think I can guess who wrote this! ;-) Hehe, great poem!
Verna Cole Mitchell 10/28/06
A delightful poem! I got the message, disguised ever so cleverly.
Kevin Kindrick10/30/06
Still laughing. This was great, a unique take.

Thanks, and God bless,

Kevin
dub W10/31/06
A good laugh and parody of a serious process. Thanks for posting.
Peggy Bennitt11/01/06
Oh, for heaven's sake! This is so much fun,I just can't stand it!! Great job! I'm sure many Pastors are now trying to present this to their Board of Elders. I love Christian humor, so this was right up my alley. Thank you!
Sue Dent11/01/06
Awesome, Ken!!! And if by some miniscule chance this isn't Ken, well then, you've learned a lot from the master!!!!
Donna Haug11/02/06
Awesome, Kenn! ;) Loved it!
Joanne Sher 11/02/06
Too clever!! I did NOT guess this was you when I read it, but now that I know, I am NOT surprised. I definitely chuckled from beginning to end - and thought deeply! Wonderful - thanks for blessing us again - and congrats!
Sharlyn Guthrie 11/02/06
It was fun to read your light-hearted take on the subject. Congratulations!
Venice Kichura11/05/06
Loved it, Kenn!
It's so realistic and a pleasure to read!
Catrina Bradley 11/07/06
This was a delight to read! I started grinning half-way through, and laughed when the elder's jaws dropped. Loved it right through to the end. What a poor, clueless, soul. You have a rare talent.
Monique Fox11/13/06
Come and post your poetry at Poetry and Poets of God: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/poetryandpoetsofgod/


   
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