The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/08/06
You did a great job on the retelling of a wonderful story.
Oooooh, "the River came to me!" Great punch at the end!! Good job bringing this story to life. I always love the line - "Do you want to get well?" - in this story. This time I stopped right there, again, and felt the tug on my own heart. Do I WANT to overcome my strongholds/inadequacies/deficiencies?? Good job. :-)
'I recommitted to the lure of His eyes' I love that line. This is beautiful! A very well told story.
09/10/06
This is about the Verai River, right? And yet, you reference the Bible Story of the pool at Bethesda. A bit confusing, but then I may have overlooked something. Love the bible story of this healing. Nice job of writing.