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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Cross (as in the Cross of Christ) (08/17/06)

TITLE: The Tomb
By Purity Snowe
08/20/06


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Hollow morning, shattered evening, inky midnight.
Desperate resonation of hopelessness
When Iím counted as loss.
A tormenting despair suffocates me.
I long so much for it to be over.
Finished.
The burden is heavy.
The road is rough.
My flesh is dead.
Salvation seems just a flickering memory
In the distance,
The past.
God, why does it have to hurt so much?

ď... he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood.Ē

Narcissistic actions, malevolent assault, embodied hate.
Searing convulsion of fury
When Iím betrayed by doting eyes.
A consuming anguish smothers me.
I long so much for it to be over.
Done.
I canít go any further.
Iíve stumbled.
Iím alone.
Grace seems just a sputtering illusion
In the distance,
The past.
God, where do I turn when darkness triumphs?

ď... they took his body down from the cross and wrapped it in a long linen cloth and laid it in a tomb ...Ē

Choking acceptance, erratic forgiveness, drying tears.
Fleeting embers of Holy flame
When Iím swaddled in rejuvenating tenderness.
An inflowing warmth sustains me.
I long so much for it to stay.
Forever.
Healing strength.
Soothing conciliation.
Unmerited rebirth.
Death is a receding specter
In the distance,
Beyond the cross.
God, can you yet forgive my unbelief?

ď... The women ran from the tomb, frightened. As they went, Jesus met them. They held his feet, and worshiped. Then Jesus said, "Don't be afraid!" ... Ē



Scripture references adapted from: Luke 22:44, Luke 23:53, and Matthew 28:8-10, New Living Translation.


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This article has been read 859 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 08/25/06
The phrase the grabbed me the most, for some reason, is "choking acceptance." I've been there! I like the parallel structure here--very nice.
Patrick Oden08/28/06
This is like reading a painting.

Through the first stanza I see dark blues and blacks in broad, heavy, thick strokes across the canvas.

The second stanza is red, bright red at first, then turning to crimson, quick erratic strokes flashing across, a frenzy of slathering paint, then slower. Then lighter as the red turns darker.

The last stanza is yellow and green, light full strokes, filling in the gaps, bringing contrast and light to the previous colors. It is light and airy, comforting.

That you can use words to provoke my mind to see colors says a lot about your writing. This was a fun experience to read.
Beth Muehlhausen08/28/06
Your choice of descriptive words is...the work of a master!! :-)

Favorites:

desperate...hopelessness
tormenting despair
searing convulsion of fury
consuming anguish

and...

choking acceptance
erratic forgiveness
soothing conciliation
umerited rebirth



Venice Kichura08/28/06
I agree, this is truly a masterpiece!
T. F. Chezum08/28/06
Indeed, masterfully written. A vivid portrait.
Pat Guy 08/28/06
why is it so hard for us to 'see?' Why is it so hard for 'it' to stay?

A work of art that leaves one breathless! Awesome ...
Joanne Sher 08/29/06
Such vivid, amazing images! A "master"piece! Wow!
Jan Ross08/30/06
Amazing piece of work here. I agree -- your pen is like a brush in the hand of an artist. Such vivid pictures you drew! Incredibly creative! Masterful! :)