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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Valley (08/10/06)

TITLE: He Shouts!
By Venice Kichura
08/11/06


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‘Twas more than twenty years ago
That Mom and Dad retired
And moved into their mountain home,
A haven much desired.

Through grateful tears, Dad said to Mom,
“Please pinch me. Is this real?
How could we ever be so blessed?
Our life is now ideal.”

Mom just smiled and took his hand,
And said, “My dear, it’s true
That up here on these mountaintops,
God whispers, ‘I love you.’”

Whenever they would go to town
They’d drive down from the mount,
Say, “Aren’t we blessed we live up high---
This valley’s just a route.”

They settled down and joined a church,
Played golf and went abroad,
But they were glad to fly back home.
By mountains they were awed.

Although at first their life was charmed
It wasn’t very long
That trials began to come their way---
They wondered, “What went wrong?”

Dad’s hands began to twitch and shake
As well as his poor knees.
The doctor gave the grim report
Of Parkinson’s’ disease.

Through several strokes Dad lost his sight
As blindness settled in,
And Mom lost weight, was worried sick.
She grew extremely thin.

Then Dad fell on the floor one day
And couldn’t walk at all.
Mom placed him in a nursing home---
Eleven months she bawled.


One winter’s day in ‘94
The angles came for Dad.
Our mom was now left all alone
She carried on, though sad.

As years went by we beckoned Mom
To leave the mountaintops
And live near family so she’d be
More safe and near her shops.

She stomped her cane, and firmly said,
“I’m fine here by myself!
Big deal, I flunked my driver’s test.
Just take care of yourself.”

Concerned, we prayed for her to see
She couldn’t drive her car.
She crashed into a roadside ditch;
Her driving was bazaar.

“Okay,” she said through stubborn tears,
“I live out way too far.
Just settle me in close to you,
Now drive me---here’s my car.”


She sighed and thought of how she’d miss
Her lovely mountain view
And how she smiles when God imparts,
“My child, I do I love you.”



I’d like to say her life improved
When she moved close to kin,
But she came down with shooting pain
As shingles settled in.

Then followed other grueling trials
That challenge older folks.
But through it all she kept her smile
And even cracked some jokes.

We asked her one day as she sang,
“Do you still hear from God?
For now you’re in a valley low
On drab brown Texas sod.”


She took our hands and sweetly said,
“No reason to complain.
He whispered on those mountaintops,
But shouts down in my pain.”





(Based on the true story of my 84-year-old mom.)


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This article has been read 1444 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 08/17/06
Neat way to tell the story. A couple of little items hit me: "angels" instead of "angles" and "bizarre" instead of "bazaar". Good job.
Jen Davis08/18/06
I especially enjoyed the often true and powerful message in the last stanza: "He whispered on those mountaintops, But shouts down in my pain."
Helen Paynter08/19/06
I enjoyed this, especially the last stanza.
Joanne Sher 08/22/06
What a wonderful tribute - this was moving from beginning to end. Also loved the final stanza.
Brenda Craig08/22/06
Absolutely lovely and sad at the same time, yet so overcoming. I, like the rest of the comments, adore the last stanza. It is an attitude we should all have. Blessings on a wonderful poem.
Beth Muehlhausen08/23/06
Good way to tell a life story from the perspective of difficult changes that lead to, of all things, "No reason to complain." Good message. I stumbled a bit over "angle" rather than "angel" - an easily fixed thing. Would love to sit down and visit w/ your mother and soak up some of her wisdom. :-)

Karen Treharne08/26/06
Congratulations on your win, Venice. I love poetry and enjoyed your poem's story a lot. A fine tribute to your mother. My mother died at 84, 5 years ago, and I miss her wise words more than ever. Writing about our loved ones is to honor them according to God's commandments and a blessing to all who read such defining words of love. Yours in Christ, Karne


   
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