The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 997 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a very real picture of a broken heart. Well done.
Very simply, I'm speechless.

God bless,

Kevin
02/16/06
You have some wonderful phrases here; the "hard thump", the canyon between them...great wordsmithing.
02/16/06
I have such great appreciation for a story that is clearly about the topic, but doesn't even mention it. I'm also very impressed with how well you captured this woman's emotions. That single slap is still echoing. Great job!
02/16/06
After an awkward feeling first sentance, it was an amazing emotional landslide. VERY well done.
02/16/06
So well written that I felt every emotion, every action. And sadly so true for more couples than not. And the best sentence? "I’ll pray for you. We used to be everything to you. I’ll pray that you remember.” Excellent writing!
This hits close to home. I cried. Too well done.
Great close up angles all through this emotional piece! Well done!
02/17/06
The only flaw here was the first sentence or two ... the rest was just wow! Great work!
02/17/06
What a heartbreaking piece! Wonderful writing - you put me right in Trish's shoes. I would have reached out and slapped Chad too if I could. :-) Excellent depiction of Trish's emotions. Good work!
02/18/06
A painful, but well-written read. First sentence suggestion - don't put look up and walk up together. Excellent use of dialogue. Good work!
02/19/06
Very well written story! I really liked the line about her feeling like a turtle turned upside down in the sun...