Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: DELICIOUS (02/04/16)
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TITLE: Down, Down on My Knees | Previous Challenge Entry
By Michol Ludwig
02/11/16 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Wearing a robe that barely wraps around me; I trudged back to my bedroom, berating myself the entire way. That’s almost 50 pounds now. Discouraged, tears slipping down my cheeks, I sat on the edge of my bed and continued to lecture myself. You didn’t go through weight-loss surgery only to regain all your weight. You have to get this emotional eating under control. Is the junk you are eating so delicious that it is worth the consequences? Why is it so hard for you to make better choices?
Staring ahead into my closet, I became even more discouraged realizing that my clothing selection is quickly dwindling. Go ahead, eat some more chips. You know you just can’t wait to have a closet full of stretch pants again.
Refusing to wear anything with give, I grabbed my biggest pair of jeans and slipped them on. “Lord, please help me. I don’t want food to control me anymore.” I added a long flannel shirt; untucked of course.
Heading to my home office I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “When is the last time you filled yourself with my Word daughter?”
Sighing, and hanging my head, “I know, I know, way too long.”
“How about the last time you really got down on your knees and sought me in prayer? I don’t mind the quick cries for help, but I could do so much more for you if you gave me a little more of your time.”
Sitting down at my desk, I buried my face in my hands. “It’s just so hard to fit everything in God.”
“I have everything you need to overcome any problem or burden you face; remember, my grace is sufficient for you.”
Rather than dig into my budget, which was the first on a long list of TO DO items, I got up and went in search of my Bible. Finding it buried underneath a pile of Bon Appetite magazines, I returned to my desk.
Reading, I came upon Romans 7:15 which says, “I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” How fitting, that’s me exactly! I meditated on that for a while, and then remembering that the Holy Spirit had reminded me of my need to be on my knees in prayer, I got down and spent some time talking with God.
Feeling better, though not ready to tackle my budget, I decided to write instead. Opening my long forgotten journal, I let the words flow.
Down, down on my knees,
It's where I know I need to be.
I know my Father’s love,
I’ve given Him my heart,
So why do I leave my soul to bleed?
Why do I allow Satan to plant that evil seed?
When down, down on my knees,
It's where I know I need to be.
I know the Holy Spirit listens to me,
He’s answered me many a time.
So why do I find prayer comes so hard,
And any book, instead of THE BOOK,
Is what I choose to read?
Why do I try to find solace in another's words,
Another's touch,
When I know that isn't what I need?
When down, down on my knees,
It's where I know I need to be.
So why do I bury my feelings with food,
Instead of nourishing myself with the Bread of Life,
And accepting the Living Water offered to me?
Why do I allow the devil to bring me nothing but strife?
When down, down on my knees,
It's where I know I need to be.
So why do I stay for only a while,
Walking life's road it seems, for only a mile?
The Holy Spirit's voice becomes distant,
Life gets rough again, and I lose my smile.
Why am I not strong enough to endure this trial?
When down, down on my knees,
It's where I know I need to be.
Father, this I pray,
Please give me victory,
And keep me down,
Down on my knees today.
Setting my journal aside, and turning back to my Bible, I read Psalm 34:8; “Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!”
All scripture is from the New Living Translation (NLT).
This story is fiction, although it is based on the author’s struggle with emotional eating and food addiction.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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I loved how you poured out your heart in the poem.
God Bless
Blessings~
Blessings~