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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Fire-fighter (10/05/06)
Escaping The Wall of Fire

The fire roared as blistering heat reached the tree lined drive of the home 300 hundred feet away. As he slid out of a borrowed van, parked in the shadows down the street, Jason felt an evil straight from the pit.

He had followed the young man for some time, waiting for a moment he might get him alone, all in hopes of keeping him safe. Getting word of his brother-in-law still alive, Jason had travels for days to reach the city. Helped by friends in the area, he had been able to find the young-man, but the boy before him was no longer his wife’s little brother. Now it was not his life Jason feared for, but the man's soul. Tears mixed with the stinging smoke of the burning home as Jason realized the youth was beyond his help.

Jason watched in despair as blurred shadows ran out of the flaming house, to be caught and beaten by armed men on the front lawn. The blaze lending a gruesome light to the scene as the man he sought reached for a small child, held firm in a woman's arms.

Shame overwelmed him for being unable to help protect the family and stop the vigilantes trying to destroy their lives. Knowing the reason for the action made matters worse. The youth had become one of the Hunters-- those seeking the last remnants of the Christian faith. His beloved wife's only brother had been possessed of a monstrous evil. The hate of peace in a world of chaos.

The man's fist stuck full-force to the mother's face. Knocked to the ground as she struggled to keep her babe safe, only to have it torn from her hands and lifted by an ankle, to be held up to the flames like a sacrifice. Jason viewed the true horror of the man as he screamed at the crying child, a mockery of its fight to be free.

Jason nearly failed completely as a knife rose above the small girl of perhaps ten years of age. Too young to be taken out of the world, even one with such pain. Anger grew within him, knowing he alone could do little against so many. He knelt next to a tree and voiced a silent prayer for guidance, and the means to stand up to the hate of the devil's servant.

A calmness came over him in a moment as resolve poured into his heart and mind, flowing to every shaking limb in his body. Words of strength filled his soul as the will of his God was made known to him. In a flash of determined motion, Jason moved from the shadows in a power that would see him walk through the wall of fire...
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This article has been read 1569 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Marilyn Schnepp 
10/12/06
A very confusing story. Which one was the fire fighter? Who was which person..and who was the young one, or the one searching. Just my opinion, of course, but I never did make out what was happening. 300 should be in brackets...not 300 hundred, and "struck" in the face, not "stuck"...which could be just a typo. We critique ADVANCED a little more harshly I guess...than a lower level. But keep at it...you have the talent.
david grant
10/12/06
reads like it was cut out of a book or a longer story. Quite exciting. Would like to ready more and find out who some of these characters are.
Cassie Memmer
10/13/06
Though perhaps light on the true meaning of firefighter, I liked your story! It made perfect sense to me, him looking to 'save' his wife's brother from the evil he has fallen in to. A horrible time. It does seem to be a part of a much bigger event. And you certainly left us wanting more, wanting to know how the Lord was leading and how he would survive the confrontation of evil! Good job!
Donna Powers
10/18/06
I would also like to know more about this story. I definitely was captivated by it and you have a real way with words.
Donna Haug
10/18/06
"In a flash of determined motion, Jason moved from the shadows in a power that would see him walk through the wall of fire..." Powerful line. Makes me curious as to what he did though - which is exactly what you wanted. Good work.
Sara Harricharan
10/19/06
Whoa! This was quite a story. A lot of emotion involved-but not long enough. I would love to know what happened afterwards!