Eve was in the mood to prepare something special for Adam’s evening meal. She had searched high and low, but nothing she’d found so far seemed quite right. Eve leaned against a tree, resting in the shade of its wide branches, ready to give up.
“What’s the matter sweet cheeks?”
The voice startled Eve and she spun around to find a serpent lounging, hidden amongst the tree’s leaves.
“Oh, hello. I-I wanted to make a wonderful meal for my new husband, Adam, but nothing seems good enough. To be honest, the sun is high in the sky and I’m starting to get a little tired of looking.” Eve hung her head, her brown eyes filling with tears of disappointment.
“What are you crying about? There’s plenty of delicious fruit right here beside me.” The serpent slithered to a comfortable looking fork in a large limb.
“Oh I can’t take any of that fruit. God told us not to, though it is the best looking fruit in the garden …” Eve looked up at the plump fruit longingly. The serpent sat poised, ready to move in for the kill.
“God-shmod. What does he know anyway? Look babe. You wanna please your man, right? I mean, ya gotta keep the guy happy don’t cha?”
“Of course, but God said--”
“Listen up girly. I just saw God put that guy Adam to sleep, pull out one of his ribs and then you showed up. I seem to recall quite a few more ribs where that one came from…so if you don’t wanna bend a few rules to please Adam, I’m sure God…”
“Wait! I guess I could…” Eve reached towards the tree, and then hesitated.
“Oh come on already! Just take some. Do you really wanna run around the whole garden in this heat, when what your man wants is right here? Why waste your time? Who needs all that hard work anyway?” The serpent plunged his verbal fangs into Eve’s soft flesh.
“Well, it would be a lot easier to just take some from here. Then I could start cooking sooner and have more time to rest before he comes home…Ok. I’ll do it.” Eve plucked some choice fruit off the tree while the serpent gleefully pointed out the juiciest ones.
“You just had to have that fruit, didn’t you Eve?” Adam scowled at his wife in disgust.
“But honey! It’s like I told you. It was getting late and I wanted to make a good meal for you after you’d worked so hard naming all those animals. The tree was right there in front of me. It was easier to just…” Eve pleaded with Adam who barely looked up at her.
“Worked so hard? You think it was hard work sitting in the shade, having God’s nature parade past me while I rambled off any odd syllables that came out of my mouth, like aardvark or platypus? You call that hard work? What do you call this?” He continued digging away at the parched soil, grumbling when his stick hit a rather large rock.
“Well how was I supposed to know it would all turn out like this? I just wanted something for dinner…” Eve began to sniffle again as she yanked on a rather stubborn weed, nearly toppling over when it finally came free. Adam tugged at the scratchy fig leaf that was riding up his backside, creating the world’s first wedgy.
“You missed one.” Adam quipped over his shoulder as he and his wife toiled away into the night.
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