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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Work (07/27/06)

TITLE: Seven/Twenty-four
By Venice Kichura
07/30/06


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Before the rooster even crows, before the break of day,
Shes fired a dozen emails off to clients far away.
Not eight to four, she works much more; its seven/twenty-four.


Before she steps out of her bed shes made a dozen calls,
Left messages and faxed reports, done downloads and installs.
Not eight to four, she works much more; its seven/twenty-four.


Her wireless notebook by her bed, she types a long report.
Another campaigns shes begun; shell need to get support.
Not eight to four, she works much more; its seven/twenty-four.

She never stops to cook a meal or coffee klatch with friends.
She eats her meals while on the run, on protein bars depends.
Not eight to four, she works much more; its seven/twenty-four.


Shes first to get to work each day; she delegates, prepares,
For shes in charge of everyone, its every group she chairs.
Not eight to four, she works much more; its seven/twenty-four.

Shes always last to lock the door; her briefcase weighs a ton,
And as she drives, shes on her cell; her work is far from done.
Not eight to four, she works much more; its seven/twenty-four.




She travels often on her job; her sky miles earn rewards.
Im sure youve seen her as shes checked her email as she boards.
Not eight to four, she works much more; its seven/twenty-four.



More birthdays come as she grows old and soon shes 68.
Shes tired and spent, but carries on, although shes losing weight.
Not eight to four, shes works much more; its seven/twenty-four.


She hasnt had a check up for her health in thirty years.
She hasnt had the time to go.its needles that she fears.
Not eight to four, she works much more; its seven/twenty-four.

One day she passes out at work; and they call 911.
Shes rushed to ER where its found her pulse is close to none.
She wishes shed worked eight to four, not seven, twenty-four.

The doctor gives a grave report, while reading from her chart.
He says, Youve worked yourself to death and now youve hurt your heart.
Not eight to four, youve worked much more; its seven/twenty-four.


There are so many folks like her who work in every town.
Please stop and say a prayer for them for God to slow them down.
And tell them God is always there; Hes seven/twenty-four.


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This article has been read 1110 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 08/04/06
Oh, I love this! An exceptional job of portraying our fast-paced society and the futility of it - and, of course, God's hope for us. Wonderful!!
Melanie Kerr 08/04/06
Excellent poem. I loved the rhythm, particularly of the last lines. A reminder to us all to slow down!
Marilee Alvey08/05/06
She used up all of her heartbeats for meaningless work. You did a nice job of capturing the mood of a workaholic. Ironic: they earn air miles for vacations they refuse to take. There ought to be an airline mile bank that these people donate to so others who don't lack foresight can enjoy them! May God CONTINUE to bless your writing...
Lynda Lee Schab 08/06/06
Where are all the comments on this piece? Wonderfully crafted with an excellent message. You've written it for someone out there who needs to take this message to heart. The flow and the rhythm were right on, as was the relation to this week's topic. Well done!
Rita Garcia08/07/06
Fantastic and creative! Master writing!
Jen Davis08/07/06
Thank you for sharing your thoughtful poem. It reminded me of a little card that I keep nearby that says "Slow down and let God catch up." I especially enjoyed your last stanza. Very well done.
Helen Paynter08/07/06
Very good - flawless technically and with a powerful message.
Marilyn Schnepp 08/07/06
Sounds like one of the Masters; it IS one of the Masters, and it is a masterpiece. I would have preferred less repetition of the one phrase...perhaps every four or five stanza's- but that's just a personal opinion. Great Job!
Trina Courtenay08/08/06
I loved this poem! How true it is...she should have stopped to smell the roses.
Jan Ross08/09/06
Great writing! Great rhythm! Great message! I guess I'd consider this piece GREAT! :) Masterfully written ... thanks for sharing! :)
T. F. Chezum08/09/06
Outstanding, excellent in all aspects.
Monique Fox11/13/06
Please come and post your poetry at Poetry and Poets of God: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/poetryandpoetsofgod/