The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/05/06
Okay, what happens next? Well written, but I think it needs an ending (my opinion only). If this was one chapter, you could leave it hanging, but for challenge entries I like an ending. (What if this makes the book and the outcome isn't known?) The suspense is good and you kept my interest. I wonder who grabbed her .... was it Derek? Danny? the "bad guys"?
08/06/06
"......AND, then? What happens next? This needs an ending. You have left your reader hanging! The reader is your life! You must give him or her a satisfactory ending. Great, up until the end! Then complete disappointment.
08/07/06
This story definitely - well - screams for an ending, but what can I say, I like being left hanging every now and then.
A powerful tale, and one with a poignant message for us all.
Thanks for sharing, and God bless,

Kevin