Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)

TITLE: His obsession
By Melanie Kerr
07/17/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

He is my obsession.

He is my waking thought. His face – the first I want to see. With each encounter I search his eyes. I want to see them stray to the distant horizon. I listen for the chord of impatience in his voice. I watch for the betrayal of his body, a clenched fist, a frustrated shake of his head – something to tell me what I long to hear.

Absent is the restlessness that used to define his every movement. Contentment is the brushstroke of every gesture. His gaze rests on the people in the room. Every conversation is milked of its pleasure. He touches people with the gentlest brush of contact, and a smile spills across his face.

He smiles even for me.

How could he touch my shoulder and gaze at me with such companionship when he knows I hate him?

The sun has not risen on a day when I have not despised and scorned my brother. He is everything that I am not. He is my parent’s sunshine, warm and vibrant, while I am but a moon, cold and lifeless with only a borrowed brightness. Everyday for him is an adventure and the farm with its chores is his playground. They call him happy, but I know him to be spoilt. He oils the machinery of manipulation as a cloud of his disappointment obliterates the sunshine and they surrender to his terms.

One day he demands, and is given, his share of the property. He finds a buyer, and leaves for the city. My hatred is maintained even in his absence. I watch him in his far distant place. I pay people to be my ears and eyes. I make it my business to know what he is doing. My father wastes hours scanning the distant hills. If he knew the son he was mourning perhaps he would turn away from his vigilant watch. My tales serve only to injure my father’s heart but never once wrest his gaze from the window.

My brother has no right to return, and yet one day, there he is in the centre of the room, wearing the best robes. The smell of the pigsty cannot be washed away with sweet herbs. It is my duty to serve him, the honoured guest, but I will not look upon him. I walk away with my father’s words ringing in my ears, “My son who was dead is alive again!”

I am silent but words pulsate. “What about this son standing here? This son has never left the farm and yet never has he felt that he is alive to you!”

In the months since his return, I have come to realise that the man who came home is not the brother who left. The sunshine in his veins is no longer there. He offers no excuses or pleading, but humbly bends to any task given him. He takes joy even in the meanest of jobs.

He has become my obsession. At first I used to watch him, waiting for him to fail so that I could rejoice knowing that he is just like me. Now I watch, celebrating his triumphs, knowing that the change in him is real. I recognise that he is nothing like me. I yearn to hate him, but my heart begins to love. Something pure in his soul draws me.

He sees me looking. An expression I cannot fathom haunts his face. He comes to a decision and leaves the room quietly. Moments later he returns with a parcel in his arms, carried much like a vassal king bringing homage to his master. He places it in front of me. It is bulky, wrapped in leather and tied with a scarlet chord. Folds of a deep purple robe spill out, as he begins to un-wrap his gift. It is the robe, my best garment, given to him the first night that he returned.

There is something else. The robe is wrapped around some other treasure. There is a smell I recognise. His rags from the pig farm are exposed. The mud and the grime fester and rot.

He kisses his rags and offers them to me.

“This is my answer. When I think to forget, I take these robes and I smell their fragrance. I remember the place where I came to my senses. And I find my soul again.”

Perhaps they will help me to find my own.






Based on Luke 15:11-32


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1631 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Deborah Bauers07/22/06
This a wonderful depiction of the story of the prodigal son. I was a little bit confused, though, by your use of the presence tense in the beginning of the story. You seem to indicate that the other brother has feelings of hatred for the prodigal. Later in the story, love begins to grow. Perhaps you might start the story in the past tense, reliving the other brother's return and then switch to the present as you climax the story. Just a thought...
I love the ending...one son offers his own life's lessons as a teaching tool for the other. I wonder if the prodigal in the
Bible reached out to his jealous brother in the same way...
william price07/22/06
"He is my parent’s sunshine, warm and vibrant, while I am but a moon, cold and lifeless with only a borrowed brightness." My fav line I've read so far today.
Good story. Enjoyed the read.
Marilyn Schnepp 07/24/06
I love the Bible story of the prodigal son; and you have done a great job with yours; (far-be-it for me to tell a Masters-writer that "realize" is spelled with a "z".) Nicely done, however.
Jan Ackerson 07/25/06
Excellent! We never hear another word in the Bible about the prodigal's brother, and you've given him a very compelling voice.
Lynda Schultz 07/25/06
God forgives our sins and forgets them. We need to forgive ourselves but never forget! I loved the imagery of the prodigal taking out the rags of his past to remember where he had come from. But he always looked at the rags from the perspective of the robe. Good job.
Joanne Sher 07/25/06
This was wonderful - I really felt like I was inside this man's head! What an interesting take on a so familiar story. You added much to my thoughts about it. Great read!
L.M. Lee07/25/06
nice piece...enjoyed
janet rubin07/26/06
Good job giving us the other brother's perspective. I have been both brothers. Praise God, the loving Father, who loves them both.