Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)

TITLE: The Final Breath of Gilian Reimer
By Glenn A. Hascall
07/15/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The light from the library bathed the gazebo in warm light at the Reimer Manor as the Trilateral Commission met in emergency session. Gilian Reimer slept in the room next door unaware of the weighty matters before the commission.

This had been the meeting place of the Commission for more than 80 years and two of the members were threatening to vacate the Commission, thus abolishing the trilateral agreements tentatively held in place for so long.

“So much has been accomplished over the years as a directive of this combined commission. To abolish the Commission at this time would affect so many lives,” said the tall one with a custom suit.

“We all knew that the Commission would come to an end at some point,” said the one with the slight accent.

“Does it have to happen now?” asked the ‘suit’.

“A new order has been directed from higher up and the ongoing work of the Commission would be antithetical to the overall objectives we have all known about since this Commission was formed.” This was said by the usually silent one in the corner.

“Look, I know both of you have been a part of the Organization long before I arrived, but I am very reluctant to let go of all the good that we’ve been able to accomplish.” Muscles flexed on the face of the well dressed member.

At that moment Gilian rolled over and her breathing became shallow as her face began to pale.

The meeting of the three stopped for a moment as they received word of her condition. The well dressed member sat heavily in the plush chair in the meeting room. “We could have done more good. I’m certain of it,” he said.

“You forget the times when you fought the Commission on virtually every issue. The heartache that is caused to innocence was incredible,” the accented member said.

“Yes,” the well dressed man said as he gasped for air, “I suppose I had forgotten.”

“You and I,” the usually silent one began, “haven’t always seen eye to eye. So many times I sought to provide direction that would benefit this commission, yet it was ignored and in the end it always caused significant harm.”

“I have been a bit headstrong, I will admit it,” said the well dressed man, now sweating.

The three walked to Gilian’s room. “You see, by abolishing the Commission at this time, we have the only reasonable means of fulfilling our original purpose,” the quiet one responded yet again. As the aging woman slept, moonlight bathed her in a shade of pale matching her in appearance and somber texture. Two men gazed lovingly at the old woman while the well dressed man wept silently for lost opportunities in the commission and realized that this would be the night he had always feared the most.

He reached toward Gillian and took her hand in his. As she drew in one last ragged breath he felt all life leaving him. He had always known he was tied to the fate of this woman and tonight death would come to the manor - the Trilateral Commission would be no more.

As he gazed at his companions he noticed that they had changed in appearance. They looked stronger and between then stood a dream-like caricature of Gilian. She smiled a weary smile and vanished from sight.

Of the Commission, he alone had been left behind – the pitiful remains of a lifelong struggle. He was simply the representation of the Body in the Trilateral Commission. Soul and Spirit had always understood their work would continue after the final breath of Gilian Reimer.

And so it shall…


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 881 times
Member Comments
Member Date
william price07/22/06
Very nice writing. I can't say I totally understand what it means. But, I will read it again after a little research. In the meantime, God Bless!
Lori Othouse 07/24/06
Interesting portrayal of body, soul & spirit. It was a little confusing; I felt I had to read it again to really get it. But the end wrapped it up nicely and made a good point. God bless!
Brenda Craig07/24/06
I saw this as regret over lost potential and missed opportunities, yet in God we go on becoming like Him. Our physical desires for power, personal gratification, etc. impede the Holy Spirt in us. Only God knows when the time is right, and He always uses everything for our good and the good of others, fulfilling His perfect plan. The flesh is unwilling to let go, unlike the Spirt. A very interesting way of presenting our triune being. Her smile could have been one of victorious release, seeing she left her physical struggles behind. Good thought provoking read!
Rita Garcia07/24/06
I would love to see this story grow into a novel. An intriguing and creative story.
Jan Ackerson 07/24/06
This didn't confuse me--I really admired its creativity, and the ending was really cool. One question and one observation: why was her body represented as a man? And in the beginning, you use the word "commission" seven times in six sentences...re-work, perhaps?

I loved trying to figure this one out as I read, and it drew me in beautifully.
Jan Ross07/25/06
I'll be honest ... not quite sure I was able to follow this well, but then it might be just me. Being somewhat familiar with the Trilateral Commisson, I began thinking this was going to somehow have something to do with some conspiracy theory. Perhaps with more time you could have developed the story more. As your reader, I am feeling like I need more in order to draw a conclusion. God bless! :)
Lynda Lee Schab 07/25/06
Glenn...you're back! Deep, intense thinking and all! I took this as an analogy of us as commissioners (as in, The Great Commission). We are commanded to go out and tell the good news - what opportunities have we missed? Or chosen to ignore? Hmmm. Much food for thought. Excellent writing for sure.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz07/25/06
A bit confusing but well written. I don't understand the Trilateral Commission's role here.
L.M. Lee07/25/06
great take on the body/soul/spirit view of life!
janet rubin07/26/06
very creative. I did find it somewhat confusing. Also, watch out for repeating words and phrases. You have "light" twice in the first sentence and then say "the comission" many times. keep writing!
Marilyn Schnepp 07/26/06
I'd like to say I understood every word to show my intelligence; but the truth is I'm lost somewhere between the pale woman, the "suit" and the "accent"... sorry! I'm sure this is a great story with a great message - as it is in Masters. Thank you for sharing, It WAS intriguing.