Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)

TITLE: The Devil on My Desk
By Jan Ackerson
07/14/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The limousine will pick me up soon—I’ve been named “Young Entrepreneur of the Year.” After tonight’s ceremony, a private jet will whisk me to Fiji for a long vacation, so I must finish this dictation while I have a few moments. The media are clambering for interviews, and I hope that this brief narration will satisfy them until my eventual return.

So—here it is, the story of my success. Only a year ago, my little toy company was operating out of my basement. I’d had some success with an action figure equipped with interactive features. I designed a microchip which, along with sensors to detect sound and motion, gave each figure a huge range of responses; so that they actually seemed to converse with their owners.

Orders were increasing; I needed to expand to a larger facility. I hoped to close the year with a modest profit, and when I looked to the future, I saw only dollar signs.

One morning, I entered my office and saw that someone—my partner, I assumed—had left on my desk a new action figure. Must be the prototype for the new line, I thought, and I picked it up to study it more closely.

The workmanship was phenomenal—such detail and realism! It was about six inches tall, and I had to laugh as I turned it over. It was a faithful reproduction of every stereotyped image of Satan. Dark red, with horns, a pitchfork, a long tail—and meticulously covered with thousands of tiny scales. Strangely enough, the figure even felt warm to the touch.

“What’s this?” I must have spoken aloud, for the little figure responded.

“I’m the ticket to all your dreams.” Its voice was small and slightly scratchy, and I concluded that the toy contained one of my own interactive microchips. But this model was incredibly more advanced than anything I had ever made. When it spoke, its head actually turned, and the tail twitched.

“Well, hello! What are you?” I flicked on my lamp to get a better look at the manufacture of this remarkable toy. I was disappointed, then, when it repeated its first response. My own figures could go weeks without duplicating sentences. “Ticket to my dreams, eh? And just how are you going to do that?” I continued to examine the little devil, unable to detect where the microchip had been inserted. Really, the craftsmanship was quite superior.

It spoke again. “Just sign here.”

To my delight, the little red fellow produced a tiny document covered with microscopic print. I played along, to see what it would do next.

“What happens when I sign?”

“All your dreams come true.” The figure indicated the tiny paper. “Just sign here.”

Another repeated response. It may have had sophisticated artistry, but the microcircuits were inferior—a flaw easily fixed. This toy definitely had possibilities. I considered the expense of modifying our current line. “What’ll it cost…” I wondered aloud, and to my surprise, the action figure replied.

“Only your soul. Just sign here.”

My soul! How entertaining! I decided to see the conversation to its conclusion. What would happen, I wondered, if I signed its tiny contract? I took a pen and inked my initials on the dotted line.

The little doll hopped up and down in an imitation of glee—a superior demonstration of animatronics. Then I saw, lying on the desk beside it, what I had not seen before: detailed plans for the manufacture of Devil Dolls.

The rest of my story is well known. The manufacturing process is my secret, but the figures are amazingly easy and inexpensive to make, and I’ve already sold millions at a substantial profit. This past Christmas, people stampeded the department stores in their desperation to buy Devil Dolls. Soon, we’ll be expanding to the worldwide market.

It’s funny, but the prototype I found that day has never interacted with me since I signed the contract. It sits on my desk, a hunk of red plastic with a pitchfork in one hand and a contract in the other.

Coincidentally, my dreams have indeed come true. I will retire soon, only thirty years old, with nothing but pleasure to occupy me for years. I am not superstitious—I have no fear for my soul.

Still, I need to locate the little figure’s microchip. There are times when it emits a horrid rasping sound—almost as if it is laughing at me.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1326 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jen Davis07/20/06
A very interesting and creative piece of writing. Your words painted such a clear picture that I could see the little devil. I first shuddered when I read that the figure "felt warm to touch." Excellent writing.
Angela Logsdon07/21/06
Well done, good job!
Lori Othouse 07/22/06
This is great! Very creative take on selling your soul to the devil. The toy theme worked really well. Powerful message!
william price07/22/06
Very creative. Very smooth. The story read effortlessly. I'd give you two thumbs up, but thats the kiss of death for movies, so I'll just say, EXCELLENT writing. It nice to read a piece where the writer is on top of his/her game. God Bless!
Trina Courtenay07/22/06
That little devil. It's amazing how many have signed that little piece of paper without really knowing the cost.

May God continue to guide your quill,

Trina<><
George Parler 07/23/06
What a creative take on a sinister truth. It would probably shock us if we knew how much pain we could have avoided in our lives if we had only stopped to count the cost of our decisions. Good Job.
Marty Wellington 07/23/06
Unique, but kind of creepy, so it totally works. Loved it. Great take on the topic.
Lisa Vest07/24/06
I'm with Marty, this is delightfully creepy. I ditto all above comments as well. Great imagination, creativity and all around great job from a Master! You couldn't have said it any better.
Brenda Craig07/24/06
Clever, clever, clever. You are an amazing writer. Such detail and realism. Great job!
Jan Ross07/24/06
Oh goodness! I kept picturing the toy store owned by the man who lived next door during my childhood. I could picture him interacting with this figure on his desk, oblivious to the eternal consequences of his ambition to succeed. You amaze me with your imagination! Your writing is indeed masterful. :)
Shari Armstrong 07/24/06
Very well done - Twighlightzone-ish
Linda Watson Owen07/24/06
A cold shiver just ran up my spine! The mental image of that 'little devil' and the tiny but deadly contract is so powerful! Again, you've woven a creative story that I'll not forget.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz07/25/06
Very good. I loved the whole thing.
Lynda Lee Schab 07/25/06
Very creative and clever entry, Jan! Entertaining, well-crafted, with some food for thought tossed in. Wonderful!
Joanne Sher 07/25/06
Definitely a creepy read - and so masterfully put together!!! Gave me the shivers!
Rita Garcia07/25/06
No secret here why you are in the Master level. Powerful message woven within this well crafted story.
Debbie Sickler07/25/06
What else can be said? Great entry. Reminds me a bit of Child's Play, only way better of course. :)
Suzanne R07/25/06
Spooky plus! Extremely well written ... read it early on ... thought I'd commented but obviously hadn't (probably the phone rang or something) but the imagery has stayed in my mind all week - well done!
Teri Wilson07/25/06
Awesome Jan! As usual, I am blown away.
L.M. Lee07/25/06
Excellent. creative. Futuristic twist on an old theme.
Stephen Paynter07/26/06
Brill! Creepy? Definitely! Good writing? Beyond any doubt. I couldn't help wondering as I read whether one really could sign one's soul away without really knowing it ... it sort of goes against the genre of these kind of encounters. Then I woke-up, and realised that is what so many are doing every second of every day. Now that is a creepy thought! Thanks for generating such serious reflections in such a fun way.
janet rubin07/26/06
wonderful. Satan has a lot of success simply because people don't take him seriously and are willing to play games with thier souls.