The Official Writing Challenge
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07/13/06
Vivid retelling! Favorite line: Judas knew that Jesus knew.

Awesome story. I haven't read many Bibical fiction from Judas' POV. This was well done. I thought the ending was a tad abrupt, but otherwise stellar.
The greatness of Jesus...The greatness of his love... Judas desire for greatness... Well-written and great message.
07/14/06
Well written and terrific idea for the topic. I can't imagine writing Biblical fiction, but you've done such a great job of it.
07/15/06
You tell the story in a powerful way. You really portrayed the emotions of the scene well – his anger, his shame and eventually his hate.
07/15/06
I've never contemplated Jesus washing Judas' feet. Wow. This piece exposes the evil raging within the heart of the proud as the humble serves him. Gives me a greater understanding of the verse about ministering to your enemies and thereby heaping burning coals upon their heads - yikes! Extremely well-written piece!
07/17/06
Wonderful and thought provoking!
07/17/06
Riviting with emotion. I could feel the intensity. Wonderful job!
Wow, Pat! This takes the reader by the shoulders and stares squarely in the eye! No missing the message here! This line, my favorite, is so beautifully poetic: "...the hands that washed the disciples feet were nailed to a cross to cleanse the heart of man."
07/17/06
Fascinating point of view. Must have been excruciating for Judas. One little note ... "souls of his feet" ... should read "soles". Don't you hate it when those slip by you!
07/17/06
Pat, Pat, Pat! Excellent!
07/18/06
A glimpse into the heart of a traitor...very nicely done.
07/18/06
Wonderful style! What a beautiful blend of words and emotions. I love how you take a tiny fraction of a moment and build it into such purpose and meaning. Grat job:)
07/18/06
Pat, this is gorgeous, lyrical, almost poetic. You have such a turn of phrase! I almost hesitate to point out two tiny errors: souls/soles and affect/effect. I love the way that you demonstrated Judas' dark emotions--very effective.
07/18/06
Oh, Pat, you have painted a great description of the motivations and emotions driving Judas, and at a point in the Master's walk with His disciples that is rarely explored except in sermons.

The only thing that marred this jewel was two words: you meant 'soles' in the line "The cool stone floor felt hot to the souls of his feet." and you meant 'effect' in the line "But he rationalized that Jesus’ display of humility was having an affect on them all."

That last line was sobering! A masterful entry! Thanks for sharing this!
07/19/06
Excellent ... Judas knew that Jesus knew ... never really thought about that ... great re-telling ... well done!
07/19/06
Wow! My favorite line ... "Head bent, He reached over into the water, and lifted the weighty sponge with unblemished hands willing to submit to this crucial task." How awesome! Well done! :)
Excellent job Pat. I loved it.