The Official Writing Challenge
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07/14/06
Very touching and thank-you for the ending. I was worried it was going to turn out to be yet another lie! Very happy to see that it wasn't--because God is so great!!!
07/17/06
A touching story. I'm sure many can relate, and I hope others' stories turn out as well. ;)
A bit of polish would do this piece good. Keep up the good work!
07/17/06
Ah,like Sue I was worried for a moment. This would be cool story to expand and hear about how the relationship grew. God is faithful. Great story!
07/17/06
A great ending to an all to common tragic story. I like the following sentence: "Memories rushed through my mind like..." Well done.
07/17/06
Well done, with realistic dialog and believable characters. Marvelous ending!
07/17/06
I love the atmosphere you painted and how you captured all the emotions. Thanks for the hope. Really done well!
The hairs on my back stood up near the end.
Superb dialog. A great weakness for me. Your story flows and I could find no grammar errors. Good job! :)
What a heartfelt treatment of an all too common experience! I wish more had this kind of wonderful ending. So glad I read this.
07/17/06
Loved your time warp at the end! One thing that caught my eye ... when the rabbit popped out he was startled, then laughed, then thought of how his dad would mock him. In that state of mind, I'm not sure if I would chuckle. But that's just me. Good story.
07/17/06
Rita, you painted your scenes great. Thank you for the good ending. Too many times these situations don't turn out as well, BUT with God, Praise Him, they can.
07/18/06
Good piece. On second reading I realised I had got the dialogue the wrong way round - so it ended up with the mother saying she'd get a job. Just one dialogue tag in that exchange would have sorted it out. But you dealt well with a difficult subject.
07/18/06
Without the ending, I think this piece would be a little simplistic and predictable. But the end tag pulled it together and made it more real somehow. You've written a wonderful story of God's hope and faithfulness. Nicely done!
07/18/06
Along with all the other comments, I'll just add I like how you weaved the song through the whole story. What a wonderful testimony this mother had of faith, patience and endurance..and unconditional love. Awesome job!
07/18/06
Wonderful testimony and though things don't always work out so well, I am glad that this one did. There can't be a pain so terrible as to stand at a graveside and know that reconciliation never had a chance. Good writing.
07/19/06
Wonderful story -- it was like I was right there listening from a closeby room. "Great" job! :)
Very good story with great characters and dialogue.
07/20/06
Rita, I'm so happy to see your name up there with the winners. Thank you for sharing your story and letting us rejoice with you. CONGRATULATIONS!
07/20/06
What is that noise? Is that you doing the happy dance, Rita! Congratulations!! You deserve it.
07/20/06
Congratulations, dear friend! I've been out of the loop for a while, and just popped in to see the winners list - and what a delightful surprise! This was a great story, and the ending was absolutely perfect. Great job!
07/20/06
Wow, this is very good. And it's real close to home. Excellent job.