The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/16/06
Good dialogue here. I can see the scene playing out before me. You do a good job of showing us her inner turmoil. I also like the resolution.
07/17/06
You did a good job with the dialog, but at times I felt as if I were reading a sermon thinly disguised as a conversation. On a second writing, maybe include some background or character development...on the plus side, the story had a wonderful, hopeful ending, and a Christian role model for us all to emulate.
07/18/06
I like dialog used to reveal characters. I did notice a couple boo-boos, where you slipped into first person, and it was confusing to this reader. ("She placed a bottle of aspirin near ME...Grasping Donna’s hand, Sandy looked into MY eyes...." emphasis added.)