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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Great (07/06/06)

TITLE: Unstoppable
By Helen Paynter
07/08/06


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The stampede on the plain is the thunder of his feet,
Exhilarating power with a palpitating beat;
The hooves four tireless hammers of this wild unchannelled colt,
Poured like molten larva in a scorching blind assault.
And what could tame his fury, and steer him left or right?
The cold blue taste of metal, stark and sliced and bright.

Indifferent to tempest and implacable through tides,
A brooding mountain in the waves, her merciless steel sides
And bulging, looming tonnage toiling dogged on her course,
She drives a ruthless channel through the swell with haughty force.
But a thimbleful of weight upon the flimsy tiller pressed
Will swing this bold Colossus to the East or to the West.

The purple gloss of Boasting is a self-inflating cheer;
The soft insinuation into Gossipís itching ear;
Corroded architecture blighting Truthís neglected tower;
The lidless pot of Anger seethes with spitting, toxic power.
A horse may bear a rider or a stubborn ship be swung,
A thousand creatures have been quelled, but who can tame the tongue?

Inspired by James 3


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This article has been read 986 times
Member Comments
Member Date
david grant07/13/06
Wow! This is as good as it gets. Very well done. (tho you may want to write "molten 'Lava' not larva." Its the difference between bugs and burnts.)
Sharlyn Guthrie07/13/06
I like your galloping rhythm. Very effective! The message is powerfully expressed.
Brenda Craig07/13/06
Fast paced and to the point. I didn't expect the ending. (didn't read ahead to the scripture)
This is a great read. Wonderful job.
George Parler 07/15/06
Horse, ship, and the untamable tongue. Nice flow and rhythm. Good job.
Sue Dent07/17/06
A horse may bear a rider or a stubborn ship be swung,
A thousand creatures have been quelled, but who can tame the tongue?

Yeah, buddy!! Ummmm . . .sorry, I'll try to be more professional there. Very true indeed!!! Very well written! hmmmmm . . . I wonder who . . . guess I'll just have to wait!
Sherry Wendling07/17/06
Helen, discovering your brilliant poetic streak is like finding gold buried in my back yard! This piece is so rich and rewarding to read. Magnificent imagery. Tight, driving rhythm and abundant assonance and alliteration. This would be a joy to read aloud. You led masterfully into the last line, "Who can tame the tongue?" Bravo!
Jan Ackerson 07/17/06
Wow! Just wow! My favorite by far of entries I've read this week.
Donna Haug07/17/06
excellent job! I felt like I could hear the horse's hoof beats. Chuckled at your larva too. LOL
Helen Paynter07/18/06
No, guys, no - I meant burnt bugs... honest ;)
Sue Dent07/18/06
Strangely--I believe her!!! Molten larvae. Hmmmm . . .Interesting concept!
Edy T Johnson 07/18/06
This is destined to be a CLASSIC. For now, it goes into my "favorites."
Jan Ross07/19/06
Great! Who can tame the tongue ... what a powerfully descriptive piece about the "small restless evil, full of deadly poison". (James 3:8) Wonderfully done! :)