The Official Writing Challenge
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Whooo, that one kept my attention! Good job.

I love your opening paragraphs about the moon and the sea and stuff.

There are some very familiar names here ... looking forward to seeing who wrote it ... and I want to know who Johnson is!

Too bad about the ending ... guess that's life, huh??? Or ... um ... death, actually!
Gripping suspense, chilling mood, heart-stopping ending. "I pray for you"--yes! The triumph of his awakened spirit contrasted with the satanic rage of the renegade--great work!
Very vivid and exciting. Like watching a movie.
Yes, this one definitely kept my attention throughout! Powerful ending, although a somber one. The point about the value of life was well-made.
Oooh, this is a pulse-pounder! Very visual--I can almost see it unfolding on the big screen.

I spotted several spots where semicolons or periods would work better than commas--a minor fix.

Excellent work!
Wow. Chilling.

Great action, descriptions, all around great writing.

Really, really good. Definitely deserves to be in Master's.

The "brilliant strobe" confused me at first - I thought it was gunfire or something, but rereading, I think it was lightning...? May just be that it's late and I'm tired. :)
WOW! Top notch my brother. I thought I knew where the ending was headed, I didn't. This was excellent adrenaline to the end. Good job.
Masters all the way!
Compelling, strong, strong message!
I read this on day one ... sincec it's so near to mine ... and thought WOW! This could be a winner .. .if nothing else, you'll score quite well. The action was right on, the tension high, the timing was perfect. My only nit pick (and this is a preference thing) you seem to have killed off your first person narrator. I just hate that! Whose left to tell the story? lol! Ok, you didn't say he was dead ... but it seemed that he was. Again, a preference thing. Otherwise, this is one of your strongest pieces to date. (so, why'd those professionals split up like that to begin with?) (just had to ask) ;-)
Wow. This was chilling all the way through. Wonderful tension and suspense that never ends. Great job.
Powerful & Chilling. Awesome job!
You made me read a man-thing because I like your work and I have to admit, I ALMOST enjoyed it! :)

Great action. Great pace. I would have liked for Johnson to have had some kind of reaction that indicated a thought of awareness after he pulled the trigger.

I need closure Tim!
Finally!!! My comment thingy broke for a while, but it's fixed now!

great job Tim! Very fastmoving, excellent written story and my last name was in there!!!! I would have to agree with Maxx, this is one of your best written pieces. You actually have some similarities in your writing to his stories. You're not related by any chance?!LOL. Anyway, great work!
Great job! Full of action & suspense. Also loved your dialogue
This would be an awesome movie. I could see it all. Very well done!
"Whooo" was my initial response as well. Very descriptive with strong word choices. Powerful ending. Excellent writing.
Agreed with those who said it was like watching a movie. I could see the whole thing vividly. Awesome! :)
Wow! Is there more to this story, 'cause I'd be interested in reading more:) What suspense! What spine-tingling drama! (can you tell I liked it?) Keep up the good work.
Congratulations, Tim! I knew this one would grab the judges! Can hardly wait for your novel.
A well-deserved CONGRATULATIONS! :)
Tim, this is great! I was ont the edge of my seat all the way through! Loved it!!
Fast moving and even though it's dubbed a "man thing"; I liked it as well as any war movie my loving wife heart has been kind enough to endure. Great action that kept me interested to the end. Congratulations.