The Official Writing Challenge
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06/22/06
Whoa! What a powerful statement you have made here. Excellent writing.
06/22/06
Whoa! What a powerful statement you have made here. Excellent writing.
06/23/06
Wow - that sure gives a punch in the stomach when you get to the end...... Beautifully written.
06/25/06
Phew - powerful writing. I was carried along, moved and transported on the web you were spinning, then suddenly it collapsed, and I found myself on the floor!
A couple of typos - lose not loose and (unless it's one of those trans-Atlantic things) bouquet not boutique. But very powerful writing. Brilliant.
06/25/06
As I was reading I was waiting for the zinger ... knew that it was coming ... had a few options in my mind of what it might be ...... and when it came, I had to stop and re-read it several times until I was sure I got it right! Very strong switch ... really drove your point home. Ya done good! THis has a punch!
06/25/06
Yes! Very powerful! Porbably the best of the pro-life entries this week. My only niggle is just one of personal preference: how is this being narrated/written? I guess that's the pragmatist in me. But there's no doubt about it--this is superb writing.
Jess, this IS going to be published! One way or the other! You just knocked the wind out of me with the ending! The whole thing was so ingeniously crafted, built, and launched. I pray it will be picked up and widely distributed where many confused women will read it! Bless you much for this one.
I was waiting for the kicker, but I wasn't expecting this. Beautifully crafted. Breathtaking. Only one little typo. Letters, emails... sustained out(r) relationship...

I think that's what you meant anyway. I LOVED IT!
06/26/06
Superb writing. The end came like a bombshell. I had to reread to see if I truly got the point - then I did.
06/26/06
Yes, this is truly poignant and beautiful. So sad it hits you in the gut - and THAT'S good writing! Hope you plan on submitting somewhere!
06/26/06
Wow. It made me feel sick. I love how the ending came out of nowhere. Fantastic.
06/26/06
You initially describe the life that every child deserves and end with the reality that some never have that chance. "...a faded memory, pushed down." Sad. Powerful. Well done.
06/26/06
Hurray for you, Jess! I love a surprise ending that's really and truly surprising. Great job on this!!!
06/26/06
Jess, this holds a powerful message, direct from the Master Himself.
Really awesome. Well crafted story with a powerful ending. Great job.
06/28/06
Powerful piece! I think "boutique" should have been "bouquet". This piece will make you think about who your decisions affect in this life.
As others with more weight than I have already said, this is great writing, with a powerful message. It certainly moved me to tears - but then I'm the soppy sort, I'm afraid! I echo the hopes of others, that this finds wide circulation somewhere, somehow.

Personally, I had no problems with the p.o.v. - it gives the whole piece (on reflection) a mythic
quality that adds to its profoundness. Well done.
06/29/06
Wow - well done.
A very powerful message. Well done.
Wow, Jessica. Huge impact with your ending. I love being led one way, then yanked the opposite, and few do it better than you.

Outstanding job. I'm impressed yet again.