The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/22/06
This was cute! I liked your voice throughout though at times I wondered if more dialogue would help but when I finished I decided I liked the way it was presented.:)
06/22/06
Oh, no! Your last sentence broke my heart. ["If only" comes to mind.]

Aside from that, this is just a delightful story, very well told.
06/22/06
What a wonderful story, told with great wit and a very real voice.
06/23/06
Cute - the laugh of my day - especially that last line. Good job.