The Official Writing Challenge
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What a wonderful story of God’s faithfulness! A whopper opening paragraph—one of the most irresistible I’ve read—then an amazing trip in to the ocean depths, hovering with her on the fringe of life.

My one small glitch came when I was identifying so perfectly with your mc’s unconsciousness, then just before she came to, she knew exactly how many days she’s been under. Might this be more believable if she simply overhears someone mention seven days?

I liked the ending, with the two kids arguing, reminding her of life’s preciousness. Great stuff!

06/24/06
Excellent writing. Great intro, loved the ending and flowed so well in between. A nice touch to have the black bird sitting on the windowsill. "...seemed like years of drifting in a sea of nothingness." Very well done.
Quite an impact this writing has on the reader, not unlike the crash. You carried us along and the end was wonderful with its touch of reality - the children squabbling and the father refereeing. Seeing the raven at the close just clinched it for me.
06/27/06
This reads as true as actual experience rather than fiction. You have either lived through this, or else you have a wonderful imagination. From your opening grabber to the nice touch of the bird at the end, this is just exquisitely well done writing!
Congratulations, Lori! So glad the judges liked it, too! Great stuff.
06/29/06
A well-deserved CONGRATULATIONS! :)
Congratulations! I don't know how I missed this story before. Great job, I enjoyed the read.
Lori, this is so excellent! I started reading and before I knew it I was at the end. I felt like I had just 'lived' everything you described. Wonderful writing! Congratulations!!
06/30/06
Congratulations, I'm so glad I read this. What a blessing and yes the end was there before I realized it. What a wonderful flow. Great job!