The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1015 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
06/22/06
What a touching story! Kudos to you. Well done.
06/23/06
Lovely - both a strong message about life and also about the value of each life.
Fabulous piece! I'm amazed at the expert way you captured her feelings: "I make an effort to sound eager to scoop little winged luminaries out of mid air..." And the little tap-tapping--the details of her existence in stereo. I felt I had become the sister as I read, it was so real.

A very real slice of the rigors of this temporal life, then a fleeting glimpse fo the eternal kind in the brother's little song-dance. Then, thud! the jar hits the bottom of the trash can, and we're back where the rubber meets the road. Brilliantly done!
06/27/06
It's nice when someone acts as their brother's keeper and means it. This is a delightful story.
Yes this was a delight to read. One tiny typo, I do believe the quotes are some what messed up here... “If a nuclear bomb exploded, “he begins tentatively,” it would kill everything but… uh, roaches.

Blessings & I look forward to reading your entries next quarter.
Trina<><
How well you captured the essence of a "defective" brother and a protective sister relationship. Her controlled irritations shone through in the way you handled their interplay during this episode.