The Official Writing Challenge
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03/08/05
Brilliant, hilarious, what more can I say? Oh yes, a winnner with every line you wrote. (It really was very funny :))
Oh, I had trouble keeping the laughter down...

Priceless story.
Good, solid story with great humor throughout. I would have liked to see Reilly truly repentant in the end.
03/10/05
Me too. But if he'd been truly repentant, it would have ruined the whole point of the parable, which I apparently wasn't obvious enhough about...

I was trying to illustrate the way many people seem to approach their relationships with God, as far as: we are His children, and often act as though we can get away with any kind of behavior we want to, because He will "forgive us anyway," and though there may be the threat of punishment (reap what you sow), it won't really amount to anything but a slap on the wrist, if that.

My hope was that people would read it, think "man, I wish that little turd would have got some sort of punishment," and then perhaps do a little self-reflection, as far as the attitude we have toward our relationship with God, especially in regards to the compromises we make with sin and sinful behavior.

Well, it was worth a shot....
Okay, I knew I was reading a parable and I just missed the whole point. This is GREAT work, Dave. Again, remember Jesus had to explain his parables, too! :)
I definitely missed the parable. I think because you gave the lead character, which is really the principal, a personality we couldn't like. He showed no depth in dealing with the kid, even if he was going to back down. He had no wit behind his action which a parable usually does. But that's just me!
What I think you did do was draw a character that hits true of people; they do the deed because they enjoy the deed and are expert at rationalizing their behavior. That is definitely the defining character in human nature that keeps repeating itself. The principal's part, if I wanted him to change places with how we think of God, would have had to have had a hint of sadness at the end. People often think like that, oh, yeah, well, it made God sad, I feel a "little" bad but it's okay, he let me off this time.

So yeah, I get it and regardless it was characters you wanted to dislike! Made me want to write the come backs!
03/11/05
Actually, I liked the story, I thought it was funny, especially because my husband is a principal and there's times he wishes he could react in that exact manner.LOL

But if you ask me, I have a feeling you might have been Reilly as a child, only because of your critiques. Haha. (Read the thread, had to comment.)

By the way, although you've been called harsh, mean, cruel, etc.(: I have learned from the critiques' you've left on my submissions.(:
03/12/05
I think I'm (occasionally) called "harsh, mean, cruel, etc." only because writers (like me) are sensitive about their work, and anything other than glowing words tends to cut deep...I know when I craft my sbmissions, there's a sense of ownership, of pernthood, almost. And, like parenthood, we tend to overlook any flaws our children might have, and view them in the best possible light. When someone points out a flaw, it's hard not to take it personally.

Like the comment two comments up from this, that said the "parable" was a swing and a miss because the characters lacked wit...well, I see the point, and yes, it's true...if I'd spent more time on it then perhaps I could have added more depth to it. My first impulse is to say "you're wrong", then my next is to say "well, I've never tried writing a parable before, so it's not bad for a first try, right?" But boil it all down, and the comment is right. I could have done a lot more with it, and will keep that in mind next time. I'm happy with both my submission and the critique of it.

Onward and upward.

Oh, and no, I wasn't like Reilly at all, quite the opposite. I was shy, introverted, and basically scared of people.
You got Reilly's character down perfectly...and apparently the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. *LOL* I loved this piece: the small boy's perspective, the relationship between father and son, the nice twist in the tale. It's charming.