The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/22/06
This has a wonderful, bluesy feel to it, almost as if it should be sung. As a song, the irregular rhyme scheme would work well, but you might want to consider a more consistant rhyme pattern if you ever re-visit this poem. Nicely done!
06/26/06
DAVEY for most likely to become a song lyric. Nice job.