The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1666 times
Member Comments
Thanks for sharing your experience. I, too, have traveled in the 3rd world. It's difficult to enjoy the culture if you focus on the lack of luxury. But if you stay awhile then return to the U.S., you have the reverse shock of seeing people with too much of everything. It teaches you to get rid of the clutter & enjoy a much simpler lifestyle.
Wow, I really felt as if I was there, right along with your main character. Toward the end, you have a paragraph about "the missionary"--I wonder if that should be in first person, since we've spent all of the first part of the story in his head?

Very evocative, atmospheric, appeals to all of the senses. Beautiful.
How I share the feelings---I can't cope, I want to go home! Thank you for taking this reader along on your journey; your prayers are for me as well as you. Just think what a glorious adventure we would miss if we didn't let the Almighty be our "travel agent!"
Although I've never been to the third world, or on a mission trip, this really spoke to me. You caught my daily prayer in one line: "Lord, my heart! I'm so critical like it's all about me! Father, do something with my heart!" Thanks for the reminder that He will.
Such living reality in this piece! It just flows from the heart, draws the reader in right from the start.

I wonder if you might not have an even greater impact if you went easier on exclamatory punctuation, so as not to tire the reader before the finale...Your descriptions and emotions sizzle plenty without them!

Great piece and a deep read. Thanks for this!
Beautiful. I loved the way you mingled the experiences with prayer and moved from fear and repulsion to joy and praise. It's wonderful.
A very moving reminder...thank-you for sharing.
You transported me to a different place on earth and made me appreciate my own life more and the missionaries who choose to step out and live those lives. Very nice descriptions!
Loved the prayers interjected throughout to "get into the mind" of the missionary. Very down-to-earth--great story.
This story is about LIFE, not about circumstances. It was great. A Third World DAVEY for you!
You really did take us along this journey with you through this well written piece. I love how you continually prayed each step of the way to change your heart or open your eyes. A great message and valuable insight in more than one way.
Captivating and consuming. A story's path that beckons the reader to follow. Wonderful job!
First congrats on your Davey.

My favorite line: " Water in the midst of this parched land where little is much and nothing is taken for granted."

This was beautiful and moving. It reminded me to have a heart of gratefulness to the point of giving anything necessary away,even myself and learn how much He is and how much I have. Help us Lord to be the water in someone's parched land.
Congratulations, Jan! I'm so happy that your vivid piece drew the judges' well-deserved recognition!
Jan, this story is so alive with raw emotion and inspired depth! What a marvelous work. You really do transport your reader into the narator's mind and heart. Congratulations! This is a powerful and convicting piece!!