Growing up, down and even
Iím so angry I can hardly see. I donít know why mom acts like she was never young. All I asked for was some money to buy that short red skirt we saw at the mallÖand permission to get the kind of tattoo Jennifer has on her cleavage. You should have seen mom go up in flames. And itís not that the tattoo is that big. I even offered to have it on my belly instead but you should have seen her. Sheís such a spoilsport.
I canít wait to grow up, move out and earn my own pay. Then I can control my life. I can party all I want. And I can smoke all I want without having to hide from dad and mom.
Itís so hard to be sixteen.
Why is Beth being so difficult? Iím trying to be a good mother here, but she gives me no credit. None at all. Since sheís turned sixteen, it seems all we do is quarrel. And James isnít helping me at all. He is hardly home and when he is, he prefers to sit in front of the television. Doesnít he realize Beth needs her father, especially at a time like this?
Iím sick of fighting with Beth all day, and tiptoeing around James all night.
Is this all there is to life; being a wife and a mother?
I wish I were young again. Then, I can dream all I want and actually believe that dreams come true. Life certainly had meaning back then.
Yesterday, I discovered Iím starting to sprout gray hair. I donít find this funny at all. Isnít it possible to stay young forever?
Itís so good to be awake this morning. I admit it gets more and more difficult to get out of bed each day, but as I told Liz, Iím going to get out of this house each morning and put in four hours at the orphanage each day until the moment I breathe my last.
Godfrey would have liked this warm sun and the flowers blooming in the garden. I miss him so terribly but it doesnít hurt so much when I think about the fact that heís with You.
And Iím sure glad that we had a good life here before You took him home to be with You. I hardly can wait to join the both of youÖbut in the meantime, I promise to keep busy.
Now Lord, I need You to watch over Liz, James and Beth. Beth is growing up and is asking for freedom she canít yet handle. And LizÖwell, my daughter has always been too sensitive. Sheís taking Bethís tantrums too much to heart. Please teach her to handle Beth the same way you taught me when Liz was fourteen and demanding for her own car and a personal bank account.
Hey, before I forget. Iím going to need help with that Indonesian boy down at the orphanage. Thatís the one whoís afraid of women because his mother sold him for drugs. Help me model Your love to him.
And yeah, thank you Lord for my birthday thatís just around the corner. Isnít it good to be alive at seventy-eight? I never thought life could get any richer, but it does get richer. And fuller. Not to mention more adventurous.
Now on to the adventureÖif only I can roll out of bedÖ
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