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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Life (06/15/06)

TITLE: Life Unbound
By David Ian


What am I, God, that thou wouldst think ‘pon me
That thou wouldst take the basest clay
And mold and meld ‘pon thy potter’s wheel
To form and shape from thy artisan’s eye
That which might give pleasure unto Thee
‘Tis a mystery beyond the unfathomable reaches

To take such a mortal coil scraped from the stuff of dust
And then, in a gesture absurd in its incarnation
Thou wouldst deign to breathe ‘pon this barren shape
And thus bestow Thine own glorious Life Unbound
Shakes my reckoning to th’ very foundations
And I tremble to the bone in awe and wonderment

That among the vast endless bounds of this universe
Curtained and veile’d from end to end and fille’d
With the majesty of Thy Handiwork Infinite
That this mote of rock – flotsam in a sable sea of space
Should catch thine eye and bring thy Spirit to ponder,
To consider, to imagine, to design, to -- Create

What, then, could my poor bearing offer in return
For this gift of being, of existence, of Life Glorious
Than to do Thy bidding, Thy will of perfection
That in comparison my humble countenance pales in contrast
Nay, my feeble existence is but a void ‘cept that which
Reflects as ‘twere a mirror up to Thy Handiwork

What is my life, then, except to be a prayer unto Thy Glory
How else shall this too, too wanting of a shell
Naked and shriftless in Thy sight stand before Thy presence
Except that in all my strength, will, bearing and being
That which defines and sustains my very existence
Shall shout to the very spheres in the heavens Thy Holy Majesty

And yet as insufficient as the total of all that may be summed
Within my power to describe, to extol, to venerate
And as much as is Thy due to crown Thy enoble’d brow
For which in my despair I in shame turn aside for lacking
Thou dost with the gentlest of the Graces in Eternal Love
Doth esteem that which hast issue’d from this mere puff of dust

And I stand in the midst of Thy consideration – astonishe’d

--Life Unbound

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 06/22/06
This is gorgeous--a nod to classical poetry, with wonderful word choices and great depth of meaning.

I don't think you needed the apostrophes in words like 'pon and 'cept--the poem isn't strictly rhythmic, so they weren't needed for metrical purposes, and they simply distracted. Your beautiful language more than adequately captured the classical "mood" that you were going for.

I really loved this.
Sherry Wendling06/26/06
Marvelous -- traditional sacred verse, full of depth and sublime imagery! I loved this: "That this mote of rock – flotsam in a sable sea of space
Should catch thine eye and bring thy Spirit to ponder..." Whew! You go right to the core of my tiny brain and make me ponder, too! I feel the awe, the unsuppressable wonder and praise of Him from whom all things flow. A real gem!
Dr. Sharon Schuetz06/26/06
Beautiful. I love the way you painted such a beautiful masterpiece with such well chosen words.
Brenda Craig06/26/06
Divinly beautiful, simply elegant and classic, like a marvelous hymn. God is good and your words express it so well.
david grant06/26/06
Wow! A DAVEY for best classical performance.
Rita Garcia06/27/06
You have did again, absoultely awesome!!
Linda Watson Owen06/27/06
What a delight, David! I love it all in its classical lyricism, but will especially point out stanza four and the mirror imagery there...wonderful!! Thank you.
George Parler 06/28/06
Terrific job David. Such a humbled voice in this piece of beauty. Great imagery in your writing. Good job!
Birdie Courtright06/29/06
This is magnificent! Too stunning for words! I savored every moment.