The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1654 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I love the bit about lima beans at the end! That is just so right. I also love how you have written a prayer in the style of a child. It is neat. However, I found the "No, thank you for..." was cute the first time but not the second. Vary your phrases around a bit more. I have never known a child to be organized enough to get what they mean right the first time very often, but they don't correct themselves the same way each time. For exampe, a child would get really excited about camping and thank God about a lot of stuff around that like biking or that sister got stung by a bee, but the narrator didn't.

Cute prayer overall and keep it up.
Miss Andre.
06/15/06
I like the idea that your prayer ecnourages me to think at a deeper level that just the surface of things.
This was fun, sweet, had a terrific message and was very creative. And the author is (what's that...she's off chasing a new guy..tisk, tisk) Never mind I thought it was someone I knew, but I was just informed that the author I was seeking is off chasing new men.

Love ya girl. This has "you" written all over it. Great work!
Hehehe, Jess, you're funny!

Um, sorry, was commenting on the Prayer, wasn't I? :-p That was cute! I love it.
06/17/06
My favorite aspect of this is the way you take the focus off the 'things' each time and replace it onto people. It opened a little window for me into how to pray differently - thanks :)
06/18/06
And amen!
06/18/06
This is Top Echelon Country, right? The Title drew me in; and I "ditto" Andre Kingston's comments regarding the overuse of the "No, I thank you"..for something else. Cute ending, (Fido did the honors for me), and very creative Title.
06/18/06
This is Top Echelon Country, right? The Title drew me in; and I "ditto" Andre Kingston's comments regarding the overuse of the "No, I thank you"..for something else. Cute ending, (Fido did the honors for me), and very creative Title.
06/18/06
I liked the repetitive line, actually. It reminds me of one of those books that repeats the same line so the children can chime in by the last time it is read. I can see this making a really cute children's book.
This is cute!

And yes I still would have said so even if Jess hadn't spilled the lima beans about who the author is. Great Job. Oh and I agree about the children's book.

Trina<><
I loved the way you took the prayer to a deeper level. Great job.