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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Abundance (06/08/06)

TITLE: Tan Leggings, Buns and a Show
By Jessica Schmit
06/14/06


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“I feel like an idiot.” Clarence complained to Kate, his fellow Sunday school leader.

Kate tried to muffle a grin as she looked at Clarence standing awkwardly in a fitted Kaiser bun costume complete with tan leggings.

“You don’t look like an idiot.” Kate replied rather unconvincingly.

“How come you get to be the 'a?'" Clarence muttered.

Kate tugged on her shirt that proudly displayed a bold letter ‘a.’ “Come on, this shirt is ugly. I hate wearing pink!”

“At this moment, I’d rather be wearing a pink letter ‘a’ tee shirt than sporting a sweaty overstuffed bun costume that makes me look like a tan abominable snowman. And let’s not forget the tights…”

“Leggings” Kate piped in. Her smile was no longer hidden.

“Whatever” he muttered. “Look, let’s just get this over with. What time did Pastor Keith want us in there?”

A tiny rap on the door answered his question. It was time. Clarence slowly turned the door knob. A wave of fear, which turned out to be Kate, pushed him through the door.

Over a hundred eyes were locked on the classroom entrance as the walking bun strolled into the room. And if on cue, the kids began their pointing and laughing.

Clarence put on his best smile and waved to the kids.

“Hey everyone! Do you all know what I am?”

Hands shot up into the air.

“Jordan, do you know who I am”

“Jesus?” Came the timid response.

Clarence cleared his throat to disguise his rising laughter.

“Well, Jesus was called the Bread of Life, but that’s not what we’re talking about today. Anyone else?”

“You’re a bun!” Shrieked Sandra, anxious to be heard above the others.

“No, he’s a bum! Get it? A bum!” Aaron, the Sunday school class clown, laughed at his own joke. Soon a small chant was rising in the overcrowded room.


“Bum, bum, bum, bum.”

Clarence shot a pleading look to Pastor Keith.

The pastor rose to his feet and within seconds the group quieted.

“Kids, we don’t use that kind of language in class. We’re blessed to have these guests. They’re going to help teach us some very important things. Are you ready to put on your listening ears?”

The class nodded solemnly. Aaron continued forming the word “bum” silently with his lips. Clarence resisted the urge to muzzle him.

Kate jumped at the silent opportunity.

“Great! Pastor Keith told us that you’re talking about how to have the best life possible. Today’s lesson is about a strange word called ‘abundance.’ It’s a pretty big word and Pastor Keith will be using it a lot in this class, so to help you remember, we’re going to do a little a song and dance. Are you ready?”

“Yeahhhhhh,” The kids yelled while clapping their response.

The duo readied themselves. Clarence stepped forward and looked at the dozens of smiling faces. A smile crept on his face.

“Does everyone know the song, ‘The Hokey Pokey?’”

A dozen bored looks gave the answer to his question.

“Whoa, hold on. This is to the tune of the Hokey Pokey, but it’s waayyy different. Everyone see Kate’s bright pink tee shirt?...Well, what sound does that letter make?”

Hands shot up around the room.

“Yes, Karen? What does the sound make?”

“It makes the sound ‘a’ like ‘apple.’”

“Awesome Karen! The first part of the song’s name is ‘a,’ like Kate’s tee shirt, the second part is ‘bun.’ I know you’ll all remember that because of my costume. And the last part of the title is ‘dance,’ because the ‘a’ and the ‘bun’ will be doing a dance for you. When you put it all together it’s ‘a-bun-dance’. ..What’s the title?”

“A-BUN-DANCE!” Rang throughout the classroom as the group dissolved into a sea of giggles.

“Wonderful! Here it goes.”


You put your “Ahhhhh” in
You put “bunnnnnnnn” out
You put your “ah-bun” in and you dance all about

You do the ‘bundance hokey while you’re turning all around
And we call it “A...bunnn…dance”

And again…




A smile crossed Pastor Keith’s face as he watched the two teens jumping around, belting out their song.

God, this is what it’s all about. Seeing two teens going against the grain, hopping around in costumes making YOU exciting. You have so much for these kids and Clarence and Kate. Help them to never forget that giving their lives to You is the only way to discover that abundant life that is only possible through You and You alone.


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This article has been read 940 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Lee Schab 06/16/06
Cute and clever writing with great dialogue! Too bad we're capped with 750 words. I thought the ending was a bit abrupt and would have like to see a few more sentences. But a great, creative story on the topic of ABUNDANCE. Well done!
Helen Paynter06/16/06
I do love the creative, I might almost say tangential, way you look at the topic week after week. And your dialogue, as always, is superb. Very funny.
Amy Michelle Wiley 06/16/06
Very cute! I love it! It would have been even better if the song told the meaning of the word, as well as how to say it. But the MCs reached out with abundance to the children. Good job!
Kimberly Mitchell06/16/06
I had to look at this twice.
Wow! You do have great dialect,I felt as if I were there watching them.

Melanie Kerr 06/17/06
Bags I the t-shirt with the "A" on it! They were very enthusiastic teens and not particularly well mannered Sunday school kids! But did they pass on the message about what abundance was really about? I guess I am too serious! Hey I am a teacher - give me a break!
Pat Guy 06/17/06
Creative! Fun! And a good idea! :)

I had fun along with the kids! :) And that's a good thing!
Lucas .06/17/06
I felt like one of the kids in the class. I could actually see the two leaders shakin it out on the sunday school dance floor;)
The dialogue was great and I couldn't agree with the pastor more. Great story.
Suzanne R06/19/06
CUTE!

And write on topic too! Well done.
Maxx .06/20/06
ok... this is funny! I could see the scene. An original take on abundance! lol! The only thing I didn't like was the story starting with a quote ... my little nit pick. You'll score ok!
Sherry Wendling06/20/06
Haha! I should've guessed this sparkler was yours, Jess! This was pure joy to read--extremely believable dialogue. And your tie-in at the end kicks religious mind-sets in the Buns! Way to go!
Sally Hanan06/21/06
Very funny and clever. One nitpick - you had the whole story through the guy's head, and then at the end you jumped to the pastor who we hardly knew in a personal way. It's a point of view shift.
Well done, you made me laugh.
Jan Ackerson 06/21/06
This was very visual and funny--I loved it.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz06/21/06
Now this is a unique twist on words. I loved it.