The Official Writing Challenge
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I like your very real characters. Your wording choices painted them so clearly I felt transported. It kept me wondering how it would end. Now I know why I've avoided the 'ole highschool reunion thing. Good job. Keep wriing.
What a great writer you are. Your characterization and setting are so vivid that I could see the whole scene before me and wondered how it would end. Good job.
06/20/06
I agree ... what a wonderful writer. You're gifted with conversation and painting realistic pictures with words. Great work!
06/20/06
Good story with an unexpected twist. My only comment is that I missed 'abundance' - probably just being obtuse. Good descriptions really brought this to life.
06/20/06
This was really very, very good!

Good strong characters, voice and dialogue! A plus writing!
06/20/06
Seems to me she missed out on the abundance of her present life, holding on to some illusion of the past. Wonderful lesson and excellent writing. Great Job!
06/20/06
This is very excellent writing. There are so many good lines in this, I'd take up too much space to quote them all. You've done a great job of building up to their "contact" and showing the reader her what her expectations of that contact was going to be.
The ending was great...you wrapped it up quickly and said a whole lot with just a few words.
You really captured her transition from vanity to a tiny spark of spiritual awakening! Some excellent attention-grabbers here, like the hand wiped on the pants leg to illustrate his uneasiness in that setting. You may want to think about awarding each spoken part in your dialogue its own paragraph, just to make it easier for the reader to follow. Well done!
06/20/06
Can't help but get caught up into the story. I sat at a nearby table and watched the whole thing. Very nice. Check please. :-)
06/21/06
I love the details - the half chewed straw, the four trips to the bunch bowl, the sweaty hands etc. Well done!
06/21/06
I agree with the others - you did a great job with this. I think it will near the top of the list because of the fact that you took us there, you made it so real, and you reminded us all of situations we have been in in the past where our expectations ran high for foolish reasons.
06/21/06
You did a great job of putting us under this character's skin. My only quibble was with the "Sears" paragraph, as Sears isn't known for its fine merchandise...I really liked the twist at the end, and your knack for "showing, not telling."
06/21/06
Realistic and empathetic, great dialogue work, I hope this does well.
This was very well done. I could feel the emotion. Your characters were great. Good job.
I'm with George! I love it when I am able to read a story that plays like a movie in my mind.

Once again great job!

Trina<><
06/21/06
I loved this look at class reunions and old dreams, partly because I chose not to go to my 30th anniversary class reunion. I did, however, have a hard time relating this to the topic. Nevertheless, you told a wonderful story!

Your character development in 750 words was good, even with the minor characters like Tina and Dick. Thanks for sharing!