The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
She has an abundance to give. Well done!
06/16/06
This is a great story! I first laughed at: "Hey, this is not a safe place for you." My heart swelled with: "...and wrap my mother arms around him." I loved: "The storm is over." My only suggestion would be to have stopped with that line. You have also shared an important message. Very well done.
06/17/06
The contrast between the abundance of the world your disillusioned main character leaves behind and the abundance of the love she finds she has to offer is beautiful.
06/17/06
The short paragraphs with plenty of space between makes this easy on the eye. The one part of the story that I would have deleted was the "by some miracle" and the boy's lifejacket - it was perhaps a bit clichéd. Otherwise there was plenty of action and tension.