The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1306 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Very cute story! Thanks for making me smile!
06/15/06
Delightful, superb job with the vernacular. Well written.
06/16/06
I love your title; it has such a cozy sound to it. Your story is delightful as well. Thank you for the good entertainment!
06/18/06
Oh this is fantastic! Brilliant dialogue, done with dialect well. YOu totally drew me in to their world. I love th bit about the cows snacking on the washing, and the way the father kisses his girls, leaning down a little further each time. Brilliant - I'm sure (hope) this will place.
06/19/06
Just enough of a hint as to why those gates might have been left open to solve that little mystery. The bull in the field and the cow patty slap were great touches. Loved the scene; it was easy to picture and the dialogue true to form. Great story.
06/20/06
Shari, this was great. I was going to say most of what's already written above. My favorite was Pa giving out kisses...going down a little more with each girl..great example of show, not tell. I like this family!
06/20/06
HA! I thought this was Dub! Ah, but we have another one who can work that dialect thing! I enjoyed this!
06/20/06
This is awesome! The dialect is done very well and consistent, something not so easy to achieve. Very creatively put together to draw the reader in and paint a vivid picture with the story line. Masterfully done!
Fantastic read! I love it! The whole thing just sparkles with joy and humor, sprinkled with clever little gags throughout, such as: "Matty gave the stranger a firm slap on the shoulder, hands still covered in muck." Heehaw! And bravo for the way you clinched the ending with Scripture, instead of merely adding it as an afterthought! Big score in my book!
06/20/06
I love Pa! It was like being at one of our family reunions.

"Pa looked past the truck to see Matty take a dive for one of the cows and land face first in the gift she’d left him mere moments before. “You’re not ridin’ home in the truck. Git up and keep agoin’.” I'm still laughing. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this. I needed it today.
I loved this. Would LOVE to see an expanded version.
This was remarkable. A fast action paced read.Thanks for sharing.
06/21/06
A very entertaining read. I loved this family. You have many great touches woven throughout. "The smallest clung to his leg..." is just one example of the trust, love and fun this family has. Since you asked for critique the only suggestion I have is to add a little more description in a couple of places. Ex. "..he stood up" from where? I know he's in the kitchen, but just a small glimpse as to what it looks like. Also, perhaps more description of the "pea-green" truck possibly coated in dust or rust. Obviously these are very minor suggestions for a story that is very well done.
06/21/06
What a sweet picture in that precious last sentence!
You captured this family's spirit beautifully. It was a fun read. Thanks.