Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Personal Peace (06/01/06)

TITLE: The Collective Works of the Voices in my Head
By Anita Neuman
06/08/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

There’s laundry to fold and gardens to weed
Carpets to vacuum and pets to feed
Go clean the toilet, and wash out the tub
Remember, as well, give the mirror a scrub
Yesterday’s dishes are still in the sink
And fuzzy leftovers are making a stink
Make the kids’ beds, and don’t forget yours.
Where’s the day gone? You’re not done your chores!

Be still and know that I am God-

The children are cranky; they’re hungry again
They’re all stuck inside because of the rain
The rec room’s a war zone, the TV is dying
What was that crash? And now who is crying?
They want you to dance while they giggle and clap
They want you to read while they sit on your lap
Their wants are incessant, demands never end
They need you as caregiver, teacher and friend

Be still and know that-

Your weight’s a bit heavy, fifteen pounds to go
Just two miles a day will do it, you know
It’s time for a trim and some highlights as well
Cover those grays, your stylist won’t tell
A touch of mascara and shimmering gloss
You’ll dazzle your husband and show him who’s boss
These matters take time, but it’s worth it, you’ll see
You’re a hottie-in-hiding – it’s time to break free!

Be still and-

You need to relax or you’ll wear yourself out
Take a nice break; you deserve it, no doubt
Draw a hot bath, and buy some nice flowers
Get a massage for a couple of hours
Read a great novel or go see a play
This is your moment, this is your day
Leave all the chaos of life far behind
Just loosen that tension and empty your mind

Be-

Your life is too busy, it’s out of control
Something’s not right, you just don’t feel whole
You’re running from one task to go find another
You barely have time to play wife and mother
Serving at church has been dragging you down
Time with the Lord is nowhere to be found
So what is the secret to calming commotion?
I’m sorry, my friend, I haven’t a notion


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1559 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jessica Schmit06/08/06
Fabulous! This is terrific. Perfect. A winner. Hmmmm...is this who I think it is?
Trina Courtenay06/08/06
Perfect! Let me think a moment...there could only be one author who could write a poem like this. Hope your piece places...again! lol

Blessings as always!
Trina
Amy Michelle Wiley 06/08/06
Very creative way to show the gradual drowning out of God's voice. Well done!
Rachel Rudd06/08/06
This is excellent! I can totally identify with the household chaos of the first couple of stanzas. Hope this does well!
Sally Hanan06/08/06
Hehehe, totally on target, and you found me: a hottie- in- hiding!!
Pat Guy 06/08/06
I think I know too! Waaaay too close for comfort! Zowie!
Lori Othouse 06/08/06
As everyone else has said, this is awesome. So funny, but really gets to the heart of the matter at the same time. Excellent writing!
Jen Davis06/09/06
Oh my goodness! This is so good and so true and funny too. You captured so much in so few words. Your style is great here. I agree wholeheartedly with Amy's comment. Plus you used one of my most favorite Bible verses. I am truly amazed. A definite favorite of mine.
Helen Paynter06/10/06
Oh dear. Far too close to home for comfort. Brilliant.
Marty Wellington 06/10/06
Wow! This writer must have a hidden camera in my home. Yikes! So true to life and well-written! There, that's enough exclamation points. I think I'm done.
Brenda Craig06/12/06
Ok, are you in my kitchen this morning? I thought I hid it so well. Wonderful! A bright spot this morning and well done.
Melanie Kerr 06/12/06
The final verse really caught my attention. Well written poem with a good rhythm and rhyme scheme.
Jan Ackerson 06/12/06
I love the way that the verse gradually disappears...what a creative way of driving your point home! Another poetic masterpiece!
Tabiatha Tallent06/12/06
A very enjoyable read...
dub W06/12/06
If this were shorter and had a chorus I would say it was a song. An enjoyable read.
Rita Garcia06/12/06
The voices in your head have been visiting my home! Creative and brilliant!
Dr. Sharon Schuetz06/13/06
I loved everything about this one. Great poem, great message, and great point made about tuning God out.
Lynda Lee Schab 06/13/06
Loved, loved, loved the style of this piece. Loved the words too - althouh they were a bit too convicting LOL. The massage line is the only one I can remember that didn't flow as well but that totally did not detract from the poem itself. Excellent writing. A definite contender!
Sherry Wendling06/13/06
Fabulous zinger of an entry! It flows, it sparkles, it crackles, it tickles, it entertains ("You’re a hottie-in-hiding – it’s time to break free!" Wahoo!). It...convicts. I vote this gets published!

Sherry Wendling06/15/06
Congratulations, Anita! I got my wish.
Trina Courtenay06/15/06
Well I was wrong guessing who might have penned this BUT it is the winner! Congrats!

Blessings!
Trina<><
Karen Treharne06/15/06
Well done, Anita. Congratulations on your win. I love the title and your creative weaving in of how God often gets pushed to the back of our daily lives. A great message and so fun to read - even though it reminded me of a dozen things I have to do ...
Helen Paynter06/15/06
Congratulations, Anita. I'm really glad this won - it deserved to.
Debbie OConnor06/15/06
Awesome! Congrats Anita, what a wonderful piece of work.

We must be channeling each other's voices. I know some of those are mine!

Great title, message, fun story, good flow...standing ovation!
Kris St. James06/16/06
Anita--great poem! Great message! I agree with Amy--nice how you illustrated how we can drown out God's voice with out business (B.U.S.Y. = Being Under Satan's Yoke) Congratulations on your win. Good stuff here!
Kris St. James06/16/06
"OUR business"--I seriously can't type!
Debora Dyess06/19/06
Anita,
A well deserved win! I must ask, however, that the next time you peek into my house or my head you give me some warning! Thank you for making me smile and making me think.
Sara Harricharan 01/29/08
Wow! This is really, really good! I like how the words were disappearing until you reached the end, where, really, there was no advice left. Really awesome writing! ^_^