The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
That was superb!! I was hooked from begining to end
06/08/06
Very lovely! Sweet love story. I'm still learning, is this sentence a POV shift? "She prayed for guidance with her plan to invite Raphael to church so he could get an idea what the real Master painter wanted from him." I enjoyed the progression of Raphael's salvation and I adore happy endings! Great job!
06/09/06
Great story, well told. I wonder if the first two or three paragraphs could be shortened a little - I had difficulty setting the scene for a while (although I understand why you want to start with him humg over), and also I struggled to set its date for about half. Notwithstanding this, it was really enjoyable to read.
06/10/06
What a great story! I wasn't quite sure where it was going at first, which may have been your intention, but it came together so nicely at the end. The illustration of the paintings was beautiful! Loved it!
06/10/06
I enjoyed this piece and liked the transition of the young man's journey.
06/11/06
Creative work with a strong storyline. The POV shift did distract me but didn't take away from the overall affect of your piece. Well done!