The Official Writing Challenge
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06/08/06
Wow! What a wonderful story! Very creative. The beginning was cleverly crafted to draw the reader in. I was anxious to see what was going to happen next! Great use of dialogue and description.
06/08/06
A delightful story of a reconciliation of two cultures. So much we don't understand.... Great sense of place; the heat, the dust the view. Good charaterisation. Well paced. Will nit pick on one bit, would have liked 'The ceremony included cleansing each other’s hands as well as feeding the corn mush to each other.' to have been show, not tell. :-) Yeggy
06/08/06
This is beautiful writing, idyllic reading! You have a talent for weaving the setting in unobtrusively around the dialog. The story seemed over too quickly, however, leaving questions (where has Emily been? why did she leave? why was she surprised to see her mother? has Jared been waiting there for her return, or has he been away, also?).

I have a fascination for things Native American, so I hope you'll write more, along this story line, for another challenge entry! Thanks!
I enjoyed this glimpse into another culture. Good job!
06/09/06
Other comments have already said it for me. One of the best Advanced this week. A Davey for you!
06/12/06
Fascinating! This is a culture that I know nothing about, and I enjoyed this well-written peek.
This was a Blast from the Past. I was the District Youth President for New Mexico and preached a lot of youth rallies on the Navajo Reservation. This was great. Thanks.
06/13/06
I love being transported to another place ... and almost another time, it seems, although the blue jeans remind me that this is very much set in the modern day. I'd have loved to know more about Emily's family, but there's only so much you can do in 750 words, huh?!

WELL DONE! This is a great entry.
06/13/06
Lose some of the exclamation marks and this is a great tribute to the People. A story well told.
06/13/06
Great story. I especially liked: "Feelings long forgotten grew, tiny sparks feeding a fire spreading throughout her being." Very well done.
06/14/06
I loved being a fly on the wall of another culture for a few minutes. This was brilliantly written - I felt like I was right there! And I'm such a sucker for a good romance. Great job on this!
06/14/06
Creative and brilliantly written!