The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/12/06
"And you see the days you really lived...The moments you truly gave...The opportunities you honestly used...The lives you lovingly touched..."
This is the heart of this work,I think, and its a great beating center, that unfortunately go buried at the end of a very gangly free verse.
I like the object of this piece. I cross of lists every night too.
06/15/06
Lovely piece of peace. More of a personal preference, line spacing would have made it as easier read for me. Although it's not a very long piece so it's not that big of an issue. Good job.