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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Personal Peace (06/01/06)

TITLE: Deliverance At Dawn


Deliverance at Dawn

Piercing light overrode the pre-dawn glow over the Sea of Galilee, its brilliance casting silver streaks across the ripples on the water’s surface. Thousands of eyes focused on the spectacle. It was too early for the sun’s entrance. Halting their sinister activity, the demons probed for the source of the light invading the dark, early-morning canopy. Uneasy, tense silence gripped their attention, the atmosphere above the sea becoming explosive.

“Oh no, it can’t be!” shrieked a grotesque being. “That brilliant light could only be one thing: the Host of Heaven!”

“But, why so many?” snarled another evil spirit.

The one called Legion hissed, “It could only mean one thing. ‘HE’ is here!”

Bolder demons ventured in closer to investigate. “It is HIM, sleeping in the boat with His disciples,” a demon scout reported.

“An opportune time has been granted us. We can take Him out.” Huddled together like a pack of killer wolves, they plotted their battle plan. Legion announced, “An unexpected attack using the wind and sea will silence the Son into the depths, forever.”

The deadly hordes sped across the sky, spinning like tornadoes across the water. It became a churning caldron, choppy and violent by demons repeatedly plummeting into the Sea. Others spun through the air surrounding the boat, battering it with a tempest’s rage.


As if struck, the demons were hurtled backwards. The Son’s command carried the authority of the Father. Stung in defeat, they made a hasty retreat, the water and wind calming in their abrupt departure.


Vicious winds buffeted the coastline, the menacing gale carrying the demons to their quarry. Hideous laughter mingled with the wind’s cruel whispers. “Quickly!” their commander growled. “He’ll awake shortly.”


The respite of sleep rarely concealed Jeran from night terrors. Four sentries guarded him. Whenever boredom seized them, they injected petrifying images into his dreams. With dawn imminent, their comrades in vileness would soon regroup for their daytime jaunts with the human prisoner. The emaciated figure began to rouse from fitful slumber.

Jeran sat up abruptly. Panic seized his troubled mind, his body rigid with fear. Just a few moments of lucid thoughts before my tormentors come for me. Tears stung his eyes, his heart aching for the comfort of his wife and children, his longing for them, and peace of mind, so intense, so demanding, but utterly impossible. “Oh God, help me...” The four sentries laughed. “He’ll never help you.” One taunted, “You belong to us.”

Moving to the cave’s entrance, Jeran heard the wind gaining momentum. They were coming for him and soon he would be under their control, enacting their every whim. Riding in the wind that tugged at his unkempt hair, their icy blast assaulted his naked body. Shivering, Jeran tried to steel himself as they entered him. The frigid sensation engulfed his being as Legion took possession of his body and soul.

Jeran’s scream filled the valley of tombs. Grabbing a sharp stone he began to attack imaginary creatures crawling across his skin. Slashing at the invisible monsters, he gouged deep cuts in his flesh. “Look, there on your leg. A creature is biting you.” The demon’s hellish laughter haunted his mind.

The evil spirits felt a shift in the atmosphere and paused from their brutal play. “HE’s come here!” Legion screamed. While sporting with Jeran they hadn’t noticed the men coming ashore, nor the Son entering their territory. With their grip relaxed, Jeran looked up and saw Yeshua. Instantly, Jeran was drawn and ran, falling on his knees before Him. Desperation spoke through his eyes.

“Come out of this man.” The Son demanded.

The demons recoiled in horror. “Don’t send us from our region.” Legion begged, relinquishing his hold on Jeran.

Jeran’s mind began to clear as the demons now ignored him. Looking into Yeshua’s eyes, he felt his soul come alive, peace flooding into his mind. Jeran sensed the demons leave his body in a rush of air. His face immediately mirrored the softness of a man in his right mind, the vacant stare of madness, gone.

“Yeshua, please, let me come with you!” Jeran pleaded, overcome with gratitude for his deliverance.

With love and eyes that communicated real peace, Yeshua said, “Jeran, go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, how He has had mercy on you.”

Jeran knew Yeshua was right. He was well again, a man now possessed, with peace. He could go home!

Based on Mark 5:1-20. NIV.
Words: 748.

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This article has been read 1116 times
Member Comments
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Pat Guy 06/08/06
This is awesome and so inspired! I was carried along and lived each emotion. What victories we have!

And what a blessing to start my day with this entry. Thank you!
Anita Neuman06/08/06
I loved getting into the head of this man - experiencing his terror and longing. Wow! Great job!!!
Crista Darr06/08/06
Yes! The storms caused by the prince of the power of the air are no match for the Prince of Peace. Wow. This is masterfully written, and a great reminder of the hope found in Jesus. Excellent work!
Val Clark06/08/06
Creative POVs creating new understanding of a well known story. Liked the way you linked the storm with the deamons. Dynamic, believable characterisation of Jeran. :-) yeggy
Shari Armstrong 06/08/06
Awesome!! very well done!!
Suzanne R06/09/06
I liked the contrast between the storm and the calm, and Jeran's storm and then the calm. Vividly written! Well done!
Helen Paynter06/09/06
Vivd, gripping writing. SInce you're in Masters, I'll be picky and say I thought the last paragraph was weak, and could probably be omitted, and I found the transition between the two scenes a bit confusing on first read-through. Minor nitpicks, great story.
Karen Ward06/09/06
This reminds me of Frank Peretti's This Present Darkness in that it presents a spiritual side of events which is sometimes glimpsed, but largely unseen. Great writing.
Lynda Lee Schab 06/11/06
Good, creative writing. The POV shifts were a little distracting for me, personally. Sticking with one POV tends to make for a smoother read. But I still enjoyed the angle you went with. Nice take on "Peace."
Jan Ackerson 06/12/06
Wonderfully written--I wanted to read more, especially from Jeren's POV. This is great stuff!
Tabiatha Tallent06/12/06
A really enjoyable read. It's cool to see a Bible story from a 'different' view.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz06/12/06
Excellent. Well written. I enjoyed this familar story from a different POV. Thanks
T. F. Chezum06/12/06
A very enjoyable read. Well written. I like the different POV.
Valora Otis06/13/06
I was captivated by the skill of your poetic imagery throughout that first paragraph. Feeling both horror and awe throughout the rest. I was caught up in the story and gained a new testimony and understanding of Jeran's deliverance. This article blew me away! Wow!
Sherry Wendling06/13/06
Marvelous! Your pen is a skilled paintbrush, bringing alive the realities of the unseen realm. I like the dramatic relief of "His face immediately mirrored the softness of a man in his right mind, the vacant stare of madness, gone."

Great creative slant at the beginning, where the demons who torment the Gadarene stir up the Galilee tempest as an attempt to keep Yahshua away from their victim.

Just a teeny thought: This so powerful, I'm not sure you even need the ending two sentences of explanation. Jesus could just say to him, "Go home in peace..." and you would have a great wrap-up that ties the piece perfectly to the topic.

Great stuff...More, more!
Sally Hanan06/15/06
Great writing here. I think if you had just focused on Legion's story without having two stories in one (the boat), you would have done it more justice. Reading two stories distracts the reader a bit and throws him off, which you don't want. I doubt Legion would have had a wife and kids, as his madness has probably been with him his whole life, but he would long for his parents and perhaps some siblings.
Again, great writing!
B Brenton06/19/06
You have such a talent with elaborating on stories we know and love.
You breathe life into everything you write and your gift keeps growing the more you do it Karen.
Praise God!