I shifted uncomfortably on the chair by my husband’s bedside heaving a great sigh of grief.
“Mam…” I heard the voice of the nurse on duty in the room but I wasn’t in the mood to talk.
“Mam! Are you okay? I’ll have to get the doctor if you’re not feeling…” my tongue let loose. I didn’t want anything to take me away from my husband’s side.
“I’m fine! I’m alright! Is there something I could do for you?” I asked the nurse with a curious look.
“You’ve been sitting here for so long waiting for your husband to come out of his coma; I figure you may need a cup of cappuccino and some toast…
“Oh no…” I cut her short the second time. “Thanks so much, I’m fine the way I am.” How could I eat when my husband seemed to be dying before my eyes?
She gave up trying to talk with me and went back to her seat.
I looked at my husband’s ashen but peaceful face. He was always at peace; nothing ever bothered him, not even this debilitating illness. I knew he wasn’t meant to die, not this way and not this time. I thought about the hospital bills, domestic bills, and college fees for our only daughter. What if he dies? Life will be more terrible. I shut my eyes. Trouble surrounded me everywhere. I wanted out. The quietness of the room deepened my sorrow. I could only hear the sound of the machine used to monitor my husband’s heart beat.
“Your mind is too busy. How do you want to get out of this mess if your head is not clear?”
“But Lord, my husband is dying?”
“Who told you that?”
“The doctor said…”
“The doctor? And what did I say in Isaiah 53:3?”
The Lord knew exactly how to handle me. Even though I had read the verse of scripture before, I picked up my bag and brought out my bible and checked it again.
“You said with your stripes, my husband is healed.”
“So whose report do you choose to believe?”
“Yours Lord but just look at him…”
“You’re looking at the wrong thing! I see a perfectly healthy man when I look at your husband. Can you begin to see as I see?”
That was the big question. I stood up and walked to the window.
“It’s subject to change.”
“I’m sorry Lord, I didn’t get that.”
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all so we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen for what is seen is subject to change, but what is unseen is eternal. Your troubles are subject to change. Can you believe?”
I felt the weight upon my soul gradually lifting but I wanted much more than that.
“I’m overwhelmed Lord; there are many trials at one time.”
“I will keep you in perfect peace, if you put your mind on Me. Why don’t you just relax and count it all joy? After all, no weapon formed against you shall prosper!”
My tensed face broke into a smile. I couldn’t explain it, but I just knew my troubles were over. I turned to the nurse and smiled broadly. She glanced surprisingly at me.
“I could do with your cappuccino offer right now.”
“Ok…mam, I’ll be right back”. She disappeared into the hallway very glad that I had finally decided to eat something.
I walked to my husband and held his hand. “You’re not sick sweetie, there’s nothing even wrong with you, you’re just asleep and you’ll wake up with time. I know it.”
My mobile phone rang. I was just about to pick it when I felt a slight squeeze on my hand. It grew tighter and his eyes fluttered open. He tried to talk but I restrained him.“It’s ok love, just rest.”
My phone rang again. It was my daughter. She sounded hysterical. I calmed her down.“He’s fine! Stay back for your exams. Everything’s fine.”
I offered my prayer of thanks. “How true your words are Lord! In the midst of confusion, you remain my solid rock and my peace.”
My cappuccino arrived and the nurse ran to get the doctor. I sat down to enjoy my meal. As for the bills…well, God’s never tired of working miracles as long as I believe. And I believe.
Isaiah 26:3, 2 Corinthians 4:18.
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